Page 56 of Boarded Hearts

“What do you mean you can’t? Even if they’re away, stay at their house.”

“Because they’re dead, okay? They’re gone. Both of them. Eight years ago, they both died of cancer. I sold the house because Elliott said it was a structural liability and the garden was too big to manage.”

A sob breaks free as she spins her body around to face the passenger window and my heart plummets. It hits the fucking floor, ricocheting around my ribcage on the way down. She lost her mom and dad, at thirty-one, in the same year. I don’t have words and frankly, how can anything I say next do justice to what she’s been through? So instead, I act like the dickhead I am and say in a soft tone, “You can’t stay there, Felicity.”

She ignites. Like a wild animal backed into a corner, she rears up, throwing her arms in the air. “Well, funnily enough, Jon, you don’t own me. You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do and who I can and can’t stay with. I mean, ugh, what are we even doing here? What is this?” She furiously motions between the two of us. “Do you not see the irony? You question his controlling and borderline abusive actions, and all the while, you’re telling me who I can see and where I can go for the holidays. No one owns me like that.”

Her words hit me like bullets. She’s right. I’m acting like a total asshole, but the inner need buried within me to protect this woman wins out. I draw in a calming breath and finally say, “It isn’t borderline abuse, Felicity. You physically shake whenever his name is mentioned. Has he ever touched you?”

Her sobbing shoulders still. “What do you mean? I’ve had two children with him.”

“You know exactly what I mean. Has he ever hurt you?”

“No.” Somehow, despite Elliott being the lowest version of a man I can think of, I believe her. “Okay.”

We drive the rest of the way in silence. Unlike previous times where we’ve sat comfortably in each other’s presence, this time it’s unbearable. The air is charged with our joint anger and frustration. But mostly at this point, I feel sad, desperate for the loss of her parents, and destroyed by her tears. The thought that I caused her to cry makes me ache.

I pull up outside her apartment block and cut the engine. I don’t want to leave, but I have twenty minutes to make a thirty-minute journey to Zach’s, and I can’t let my best friend down again.

Unbuckling her seat belt, Felicity wipes at her cheeks. “Thank you for today.”

She reaches for the door handle, but I stop her, gently grasping her other arm at the elbow.

“Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. I can’t and don’t have any right to tell you what to do. But know this, if you were mine, then things wouldn’t be any different. I’d still let you know that I didn’t like you spending time with that asshole because he hurts you, but I would never, ever try to control you. I just want you to be safe and happy. What happened to your mom and dad, shit, I’m so sorry, Felicity.”

My words are sincere, but I can tell they do nothing to penetrate the walls she’s rebuilt back around her once more. Her face is expressionless as she nods her head in acknowledgment and reaches for the door of my car. “Thank you, Jon. Good luck with your away series.”

And then she’s gone. Shutting my car door and walking to the entrance of her apartment building. Leaving me in a state of shock, sadness, and fury. How the fuck did the best twenty-four hours of my life go so wrong in the space of ten minutes?One thing I am sure of though is that I can’t bear to see her hurt or upset in any way, and I’ll do everything I can to show her how much she means to me. I pray to God that one day I’ll call her mine, but I know right here and now she’ll own my heart for a lifetime.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

FELICITY

My self-pitying routine goes something like this.

Me, slumped on the sofa, a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand, generally cookie dough, with Ed Sheeran serenading me.

Ugh. I’m so pissed. But you know what’s worse? The fact that every time I recall reasons why I am pissed at him, my resolve weakens, and I begin questioning exactly what it is he did wrong. The fact is, he’s concerned about me staying with Elliott. Well, based on the evidence, I’d say he’s got good reason to be. He’s also concerned that Elliott’s using Jack and Darcy against me. He’s probably right about that too. And the fact that Elliott wants me back? Well, he did tell me just that less than twenty-four hours ago, in this very room, right in front of Jon. The more I search for reasons to be annoyed at the muscled, gorgeous, and protective hockey player, the more I come up wanting.

So yes, I’m pissed off, but mostly at myself for snapping in the car and practically comparing him to my ex-husband. He’s nothing like Elliott. Everything Jon does is without an agenda. His acts are selfless and authentic and what do I go and do?

Push him away.

I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the last time I see him outside of the hockey arena.

Ping.

Spoon hanging halfway out of my mouth, I sit up and look for my phone. It’s unlikely to be Jon. He looked just as pissed as I did when he drove off, and I imagine Zach has already advised him to keep his distance.

Kate

I haven’t heard from you since last night at Riley’s. Tell me you are okay.

Me

Yes and no, but it’s got nothing to do with last night.

Okay. What’s happened?

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