Page 32 of Boarded Hearts

Heading across to the elevator, I punch in the code I’ve known by memory for years and ride the eleven floors to the penthouse.

“In here,” I hear Zach’s voice call through the dark as I walk through his hallway, kicking my sneakers off. I find Zach sprawled across his couch with the only light coming from the enormous TV mounted on the wall.

“What game are you watching?” I ask, dumping myself down on the opposite couch.

“Dallas footage. Want a beer?” He tips his bottle toward me. “There’s some in the fridge if you want.”

I’m surprised. Zach rarely drinks, especially during the season, but what the hell, after today, why not? “You read my mind.” I stride across the open-plan living space and grab a beer from the fridge before heading back.

We spend at least an hour saying very little, simply studying game tape and exchanging the occasional thought or opinion ahead of Saturday. When I called Zach earlier, I asked him if he was home and if he had company, aka Amie. He knew I needed to talk but didn’t push it any further, just told me his door is always open. In many ways, I see him as a brother. He’s always been there for me, offering advice, even when it’s not something I want to hear. Over the last six seasons, we’ve formed an unbreakable bond, and I trust him with my life.

“Coach told me to stay away from practice tomorrow and to take a rest day.” I broach the subject first, draining the final dregs of my beer.

“How do you feel about that?” Zach sits up from his lying position on the couch, placing his empty bottle on the table in front of him.

“Honestly? Relieved. Kinda feels bad to say, but I don’t want to be around people right now.”

Zach bobs his head; he’s already worked that one out based on my mood these past few days. “What’s going on, Jon?”

I let out a low chuckle, gripping the back of my neck. “My game’s going to shit, and I can’t seem to get a handle on it.”

“Yeah, I can see that, but why?” he pushes.

“Nothing’s working out, and I’m frustrated.”

“By nothing, you mean a certain girl?”

He called me out, no holding back, “Ugh, yes, no, I mean maybe.”

“She still giving you the cold shoulder after the away game in Colorado?”

I shake my head. “No, worse. I turned up at her office, kissed her, then invited her back to my place for dinner. All was going great until she basically friend-zoned me and told me she wanted to ‘spread her wings’ and be independent since her bastard ex-husband made her feel undesirable and trapped in a loveless marriage.”I huff out a breath, running a frustrated hand through my hair. “So yeah, I know she feels something for me, and I know there’s a part of her that wants me, but her worry over relationships and losing her newfound independence means she won’t trust or date. It’s obvious and there’s fuck all I can do about it.”

Zach stands from the couch and moves toward the kitchen, returning thirty seconds later with another beer for each of us. Flicking the cap off, he hands me the bottle and I take another swig.

“This might seem obvious, but have you told her how you feel? Because from what I’m hearing and seeing, bro, you are fully gone for this girl, and it’s fucking with your head.”

“Yeah, I think I made it pretty clear when I made out with her in the middle of her office and then invited her back for dinner and kissed her again,” I bite out.

“All good and well, but how does she know what you want? Look at it from her point of view. This world-famous hockey player starts pursuing her, texting, and inviting her to his place for dinner. But he’s got a reputation as a playboy with a different woman in his bed every night.”He takes another swig of his beer, tipping the bottle toward me. “I know what I’d be thinking. I haven’t jumped into bed with him at the first opportunity, and now he sees me as a challenge. Think about it, Jon, if you were a chick, would you want to be another notch on your bedpost?”

I swipe my hand across my face, giving it some serious thought. “Yeah, it’s a possibility I guess, and no, I wouldn’t want to sleep with me either. Not unless I knew there was more to it than just meaningless sex.”

“Exactly.” Zach sits back on the couch. “I’ve never met the girl, but Jensen tells me she’s the type of woman you marry, not someone you have a one-night stand with. So why would she open the door to you if she thinks you only want one thing? And frankly, I know you have only great intentions with her; I can see the seismic shift in you. But based on your past, why would she see that?”

Christ, that stings. Yeah, I knew all this deep down but hearing it validated out loud, it’s hard to take. I shrug. “Yeah, but that still doesn’t help with her need to be independent.”

Zach nods his head in understanding. “Look, man, I’m no expert, but has it ever occurred to you that her only experience in relationships has been controlling and unhealthy? That’s what she’s used to. She hasn’t seen anything different, so she doesn’t know what it’s like to be with a man who shares her interests and wants to help her achieve her dreams and goals.”

He waves a hand in front of him. “So really, it’s simple: show her what she could have and that you want her for more than a cheap fuck. Women like her don’t fall easily.”

“And what if she still doesn’t want me after all that? I genuinely don’t think I could handle the rejection.”

“Well then, she doesn’t want you, but what are your alternatives? Walk away and don’t try? I don’t think I’ve ever known you to back off from something you want. Spell it out to her, take the risk. That’s the best advice I have for you, buddy.” Zach kicks back and lies down on the couch again.

“I thought I had,” I reply, peeling the label off my bottle.

He low chuckles. “Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, man.”

---