Page 4 of Boarded Hearts

Darcy straightens, her frown turning into a full-blown scowl. “What do you mean?”

“The thing is, well…”

“You aren’t coming home either are you?”

I feel every muscle in my body tense. “No.”

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

I continue pushing the salad around my plate, any remnants of my appetite now completely depleted. “You guessed?”

She shrugs nonchalantly, but I can see the sadness in her bright blue eyes, and it breaks my heart. “With you and Dad splitting, and Jack staying here, I guess the UK hasn’t got much left to offer you.”

I balk. “Other than my beautiful daughter.”

She chuckles softly. “No, seriously though Mum, I get why you’re staying. I just feel like my world is flipped upside down.”

I scoot across the sofa and pull her into my side, wrapping my arm around her slender frame, her long honey-colored hair falling over my shoulder. Darcy has her dad’s height just like Jack, and despite being twenty-two years older, my small five-three frame feels tiny compared to hers.

“I know, sweetheart. The thing is, life, it sometimes deals you a hand you least expect, but it’s what we do with those cards that matters. We can either fold or make the best of what we have. Me and your dad should’ve split years ago, but I guess I held out for you and Jack. Now though, you’re both growing up, and you’ll be off to college with Liam next year. I promise I’ll be back to visit you as much as I can.” My voice is thick with emotion and trepidation, hoping desperately she’ll understand. But the way Darcy nods along tells me at seventeen, she is far beyond her years; still, it doesn’t stop the overwhelming sense of guilt.

We finish our lunch and Darcy updates me on her plans for finishing high school and applying to university with Liam. I love her take on life, her romantic heart, falling in love with Liam at such a young age, and both so fiercely loyal to one another. As her mum, I fully support their relationship, but I can't say I understand it. For me, true love has been elusive, and at times, it's hard not to inwardly project, wondering why it hasn't happened to me.

Then at thirty-one I also lost my parents to cancer; Mum went first closely followed by Dad, and that was the last straw. I've boarded up my numb heart, only prepared to feel for my children. Lending out my heart for romantic purposes, yeah, that's a solid no from me. Been there, tried that. Failed.

The rain has stopped as we step out into the mid-September air. A comfortable sixty-eight degrees has me wearing a dusky-pink dress and black sandals. I don't live far from work, so I like to walk each day. At my age and post two children, I find it harder to stay in shape despite an array of gym classes filling my schedule. I miss the twenties body I had and God, I can't remember the last pair of size four jeans I could fit into without contorting my body like a pretzel to do up the zip. So, these days I opt for comfort, confident in my body and curves.

I turn to Darcy. “Let’s meet up as much as we can between now and when you leave, okay?”

“Okay, but just don’t shut Dad out completely, yeah. He's been different since you left. I don’t think he’s doing that great.”

I haven’t shared half of what went on between Elliott and me with Darcy and Jack. They don’t need to know everything, and they’re already trying to process our divorce. Darcy and her dad remain close, even after the forced move to Seattle, and the last thing I want to do is rock their relationship. But Elliott as a father and Elliott as a husband are two very different people.

I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “I won’t, sweetheart.” Truthfully, I’m not sure how good I’ll be at keeping that promise, but I know I need to try.

Being a PA for hotshot defense attorney, Mark Preston, is honestly not what I dreamed of when I enrolled at university. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good, solid, and respectable job, and Mark is great to work for. But I wanted to become a lawyer and change the world, one human rights court after the next. Elliott always thought he was smarter than me academically, and I let myself drift into his shadow. I was a straight-A student, and even taking my finals while pregnant didn't deter me from being awarded top student in my class.

“I still think you should set up that profile.” My colleague and best friend, Kate Monroe, comes to stand next to me at my desk, watching me scroll absentmindedly through Instagram.

“I’ve told you. I’m not dating. I don’t need a man.”

Kate bends down to my height as I’m seated at my desk and whispers softly, “Maybe not, but we all know Tinder is really for hookups. I think you could use a bit of the d.”

I flush but don’t respond. I’ve never had a one-night stand, but a girl has needs, and there’s only so much a toy can do.

“I mean, how long has it been?”

I balk at her, my eyes scanning the room to make sure no one hears. “A while.”

“How long?”

“Not since Elliott, but why does it matter?”

Kate almost drops her coffee. “What?!” She attempts to whisper but it’s more of a low-key shout. “Six months?!”

I flush again and quickly rush out, “More like a year, but I don’t need a man.”

“Girl, you could give Saint Mary a run for her money.”

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