Page 67 of Every Beautiful Mile

Bless you, Finn, for this subject change.

“It’s supposed to be the hottest day all week, a steamy eighty-seven.”

Finn holds up my phone. “Says it’s a gentle float down the river on a tube, kayak, canoe, or paddle board, and the guide helps you spot wildlife.” He shrugs.

“Maybe we can see a moose!”

Marin taps her fingers together in excitement.

“Sounds fun to me.” I take another bite of bacon as I look out of the window. “Do you guys want to move to the campground or stay at the inn a couple more nights?”

Finn scoffs. “What do you think?”

Inn it is.

***

When we make it to the launch site on the river, I convince myself it will be a fun and relaxing day on the water. It’s going to feel like vacation. Being here is a good thing.

“Mom, don’t be such a prude.” Marin scoffs as I tug at the swimsuit she insisted I wear. “You’re acting like you’re naked.”

It’s a too-bright red, too high on the thigh, and way too low in the chest scrap of fabric and the opposite of age appropriate. I look like an idiot.

“I feel naked,” I hiss at her, wishing the fabric would multiply, as a young guy walks down to greet us on the riverbank.

He looks to be about Finn’s age. A good-looking kid with long brown hair pulled back in a bun wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and swim shorts. He could be in California as much as Maine.

“’Sup guys?” He lifts his chin. “I’m Derek. I’ll be your guide this morning.”

Finn gives him a nod. “Finn,” he says. “This is my sister, Marin, and my mom, Nel.”

I smile.

“Sweet. So, you can pick whatever you want to float on.” He points to the racks of tubes, kayaks, and paddle boards. “We will be gone for about three hours. You can bring a cooler if you want, but we are very much a pack-it-in, pack-it-out outfit, so there is no throwing the empties in the water. We’ll catch a ride in the van at the end to get back.” He drops a canvas bag into a kayak. “I take a kayak so I can keep things dry, so you can put any cellphones or wallets in there.”

We make quick work of choosing our floats. I go with a paddleboard. Marin and Finn both pick tubes.

“Are we waiting for anyone else?” I ask, tugging at the too-tight fabric that both pulls into a perma-wedgie and threatens to expose my chest to the free world before dropping my dry clothes into his kayak.

“Actually,” he says shyly. “This is my first solo guide. Ergo, the group is going to be small. We have two more people coming, but that’s it.” There’s an awkward silence. “But I promise I totally know what I’m doing. I grew up swimming on this river.”

He smiles eagerly.

I want to laugh, but the mom in me feels incredibly proud even though I don’t even know the kid.

I open my mouth to say something encouraging but am stopped by a deep, “They let anyone go down this river, don’t they?” from behind me.

I spin so fast, I stumble over my paddleboard.

Holy mother of God.

Ethan?

“Har! Har! Dad,” Derek says dryly. “Very funny.” He looks back to us. “My annoying dad and less annoying brother will be the other two joining us today.”

Derek rolls his eyes toward Ethan, but Ethan’s eyes widen and lock with mine.

I can’t breathe.

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