Page 51 of Every Beautiful Mile

His mouth opens like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t.

“And maybe Dad would have handled it better. But there’s also a chance he would have knocked the joint out of your hand in front of your friends and caused a scene. I do know he wouldn’t have just given you the green light to smoke. So, when you’re eighteen, and you want to take up this…” I swirl my syrupy fork in the air, “habit, then that’s on you. Deal?”

For the first time, his lips turn up into the slightest smile. “Deal.”

“Gateway drug, Mom?” Marin groans, bringing a hand to her forehead. “You are such a dork.”

With her words, we laugh our way through the rest of breakfast and spend our last day on the Oregon coast at the beach, holding starfish in the tidepools.

Together.

That night, I’m wine lubricated enough to summon the courage to reply to Ethan’s last email. I don’t let myself overanalyze—I let my thumbs type out whatever they decide.

Ethan,

Does anyone ever just find themselves in the White Mountains of Maine? I didn’t even know that was a place until this very moment. And while I’ve always wanted to see Maine, I picture myself on the coast, not the mountains.

You should know, before you go around making these kinds of promises, I’m not good at keeping secrets because I’m a terrible liar. It’s true. You tell me one secret, and it’s basically written across my face. I might as well be one of those airplanes that pulls messages behind it, blasting information all over the place. It’s just who I am.

I’ll prove it—you tell me a secret, and if I ever find myself in the White Mountains of Maine, we’ll see if I can keep a straight face about it.

Menu changes are at a standstill. Apparently, my boss is scared of work now that he made me go through all this trouble.

Penelope

When I fall asleep that night, it’s only after I’ve refreshed my email twenty times in hopes of getting a response that doesn’t come.

Twenty-one

We are lost.

In Idaho.

Looking for dinosaur bones nobody wants to see.

Because Travis wrote it on his list.

The sweat that streams down my back is a constant reminder of how annoyed I am and how much I hate the Avion.

And dinosaurs.

“Are you sure this is right, Finn? This seems like private property.”

I lean forward as we bump down a dusty road, and my eyes linger on a fence and sign that clearly says No Trespassing.

“It says we turn right in a half-mile.” He holds up my phone. “We’re only a couple miles away. I can see the dot. Shoot. I lost service.”

He moves his arm around the cab, trying to find service that clearly doesn’t exist.

If Travis were here, I’d punch him square in the nose.

Finn points to a patch of grass. “Turn here.”

“Finn, there’s no road. I can’t drive on that.” I bounce with a jolt as the rocks beneath us get bigger. “Okay, you know what?” I slam on the breaks. “I’m turning around. This is stupid. It’s too hot to look for bones we don’t even know if we’re going to find.”

“Thank God!” Marin blurts as she fans herself with a book in the back.

I slowly work to do a three-point turn on the narrow rocky road while Finn fumbles with the phone, ultimately dropping it in the crack between the seat and door.

---