Page 145 of Every Beautiful Mile

Then, with him kneeling between my legs in that damn suit, I bring my face to his and kiss him. I kiss him like my life depends on it, and he kisses me like he’s trying to make up for all the ones we’ve missed. His taste and smell and the feel of his skin touching mine is like coming home after being gone for far too long.

When we finally pull apart, we're smiling.

“Did you really get a dog?” I ask as he stands up and pulls my hands for me to do the same.

He grins. “I did. A Golden Retriever named Odey.”

“Odey?”

“It’s short for Odysseus.”

Penelope’s husband in Greek mythology who spent ten years trying to get back to her after ten years at war.

“Dammit, Ethan.”

I drop my face to his chest as I try to hide every fresh emotion that stains my skin before looking back up at him.

He curls his lips into a smug smirk I’ve missed so much over the last six months.

His mouth drops to my ear, and his voice lowers. “Dance with me, Nel.”

I don’t argue with him. After everything he’s just told me, there isn’t much I have the power to say no to.

Me against him with the woman’s raspy voice filling the air, my body liquifies as we sway slowly in a dark corner of the restaurant.

And when the music stops, and the wine is gone, we barely make it to his truck before our clothes are off. In an icy night in Bangor, Maine, in the backseat of a truck in a parking lot, Ethan reminds me how good we are together with his hands and body and the words he never stops saying in my ear.

The next morning in the hotel lobby, our ridiculously giddy smiles are permanent—a reflection of how satisfying our night together was.

When we finally drag ourselves out of bed, we get dressed and eat breakfast while staring at each other like lovesick puppies. I’d be embarrassed if I wasn’t so happy.

As he starts up his truck, I pull out my phone.

Me: Did you know?

Marin: Of course, we did, Penelope.

Finn: It was for your own good.

Me: You’re both grounded.

Marin: Have fun, Mom. We love you.

Finn: And please don’t tell us what you two do together.

I laugh, warmed completely despite the freezing temperatures that have iced over the windshield.

We made it to the other side of this big ugly thing together. It’s different than I expected, but also so much better.

Some people are lucky enough to have one person to love for their entire life. One person they grow with, change with, and experience every big moment with. One person who knows them better than they know themselves.

Despite my best efforts, that is not how my story is written.

My story gave me two. Two great men who changed me to my bones. Without one, there could never have been the other.

It’s a bittersweet truth that will probably cause the slightest ache in my chest for the rest of my life.

Ethan reaches his arm across the seat and grabs my thigh while my sock-covered feet prop up on the dash. Piles of snow line the sides of the road as we head out of the city and into the mountains. The White Mountains, which really was where I found myself.

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