Page 37 of Shattered Vows

“That’s it, sweetheart. Come all over my hand. Give it to me. Only me.”

Air leaves my lungs in a whoosh as stars settle over my vision, and I feel as if I’m the shooting star. I have no idea if I say anything, what I’m doing with my body, nothing. All of it is secondary to the feeling of bliss when my body comes apart and slowly, slowly starts piecing itself back together.

I’ve never experienced anything like that sensation in my life. Of course, I’ve masturbated before, but I’ve only ever had the use of my own hand, and even when I finished, the results were… tepid at best.

But with Kol… I’m not sure I even have words to describe what I just felt. I didn’t know anything could ever feel that way.

He says nothing as I lean back against him, catching my breath. My inexperience puts me at a disadvantage. I don’t know what to say or do. What do people do after they fool around? Do they talk about it? Pretend it never happened? Am I supposed to reciprocate now?

Feeling a bit like a fool because I can’t answer any of those questions, I pull my dress down so I’m covered, then crawl out of Kol’s lap. When I dare to look back at him, he’s leaning back on his hands, chin up, eyes shut, and his nostrils flared. He almost looks as if he’s in pain.

“I—”

“Just give me a minute,” he rushes to say.

“Are you okay?” Did I hurt him when I came? I sort of blacked out, so I’m not really sure what I did. Maybe my head jerked back and hit his chin, or maybe I accidentally hit him in the—oh.

Oh wow.

Kol’s erection is pushing against his shorts, looking as though it might tear the fabric, and the outline… is… huge.

Not like I have anything to compare it to, but I thought the average guy was supposed to be six inches or something? I mean, I can’t see the whole thing, but there is definitely more than six inches pushing against those cargo shorts.

“Fine. I just need to get this hard-on under control.” He sounds pissed off. Maybe I am supposed to return the favor.

“Do you want me to…” I gesture toward his lap.

His eyes whip open, glaring at me. “Talking shit like that isn’t gonna help, Rapsody.”

I press my lips together. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.” My hands fidget in front of me.

“Talk about something. Anything that’ll get my mind off how badly I want to rut inside you right now.”

My cheeks heat at what I’m choosing to think of as a compliment, and I search my addled brain for anything. The first thing that comes to mind is something Nero mentioned earlier. “Nero said that today was a bad day for the Vosses. What did he mean?”

Kol sighs. “Yep, that’ll do it.”

He looks down at his lap. I can’t help but look, too, and I realize the bulge isn’t as pronounced as it was.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.” Though I really want him to trust me and open up.

He sits up straight and reaches for the whiskey bottle that’s lying on its side and somehow still has some liquid in it. He brings it to his lips and takes a generous swig before passing the bottle to me. “Today is the day my father died.”

My stomach takes a freefall off a high rise. “I’m so sorry.” I lift the bottle to my lips, cringing as the alcohol slides down my throat.

“Don’t be. He was the worst sort of human being. I was happy when he died.”

What kind of man must his father have been for him to feel that way?

I’m not sure what to say, but the raw pain in Kol’s eyes has me reaching out to take his hand. He lets me, linking our fingers together.

“It’s not that today is hard because I’m mourning my father. It just brings up all the shit from my childhood that I’d rather forget.”

I don’t know how, but some instinct tells me not to ask what he’s referring to. At least, not today. So instead, I try a different tactic.

“Well then, I guess I understand why you and your brother were on a mission to get drunk, so let’s do it,” I say with false cheer.

It seems to work though, the corner of his lips creeping up ever so slightly. “Let’s then.”

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