Page 35 of Shattered Vows

RAPSODY

Sometime later, I’m not even sure how long, I can’t stop laughing. For no real reason, laughter is billowing out of me like a cloud of smoke.

“Well, I think you can check getting drunk off your list.” Kol holds out his hand. “Here, why don’t you give me the bottle now?”

I raise the bottle over my head, grinning. “No way! This is fun.”

He shakes his head. “Maybe so, but you’ll regret it if you drink any more than you already have, trust me.”

I guffaw. “I think you just don’t know how to have fun.”

Kol gives me a “really” look. “I’m twelve years older than you, spent over a decade in the military, and was raised by a billionaire, and you think I don’t know how to have fun?” He arches a dark eyebrow.

I burst into a fit of giggles. “I guess when you put it that way.”

He shakes his head and props up on his knees to pull the bottle away from me, but I don’t let go. Instead of him plucking it away from my hands, I go with the bottle, losing my balance and falling forward. Kol falls back onto the grass with a grunt, me on top of him, the whiskey bottle rolling out of my hand onto the grass.

He looks up at me, his gaze intense, and I feel every bit of his muscular body underneath me. Both our breathing is shallow as our eyes scour the other’s. Kol’s gaze dips to my mouth, and I can’t help but slide my tongue over my lip, wishing it was Kol’s tongue.

A low groan rumbles in his chest beneath me, and I suck in a breath. I want so badly to lower myself so that our mouths collide. He clears his throat and takes my hips in his hands, maneuvering me off of him.

I frown and straighten myself until I’m sitting on the grass again, avoiding his gaze.

“What’s wrong, Rapsody?”

Do I dare confess to him my feelings? Tell him that I think about him all the time, think about the things I imagine us doing together with our bodies?

Oh, the hell with it.

“I thought of something else I want to explore moving forward.” I keep staring at the dark water of the pond, afraid I’ll chicken out if I look directly at him.

“What’s that?”

“My sexuality. I want to know what it means to be desired, to give my body to someone else.”

Kol doesn’t say anything for a beat, and the urge to turn my head and see what he’s thinking is so strong, but I resist, afraid I’ll see either disgust or judgment.

“Um…” He clears his throat. “Does that mean you’re still a virgin? You and Alistair…”

I blink a few times, realizing he probably assumed if I was marrying Alistair, we would have. “No, we never… we just kissed. He wanted to wait until marriage.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted, too?”

I meet his gaze, and the air rushes from my lungs like a burst balloon when I see the look of possession on his face. “Not anymore. I want to live. And I think I’ll come to find that’s a big part of feeling alive.”

Kol’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, pupils growing larger by the second. “And where do you plan on finding someone to explore all of this with?” He drags his fingertip from my shoulder down to my wrist, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

“I don’t know.” My voice is breathy, barely there. “I suppose I’ll have to go looking for someone who’s willing and able. Maybe Nero?—”

Kol’s hand whips around to clutch the back of my head, weaving into my French braid. “Finish that sentence, Rapsody, and you’ll regret it.”

My nipples pucker in my bra. “Does that mean you want to help me?”

Kol growls. “You know the damn answer to that. I’ll kill anyone if they get in my way.”

He leans toward me, and his lips crash into mine, firm and insistent. I open for him, sighing in relief when his tongue crests over mine. It’s only now that I realize how desperate I’ve been to feel him like this again.

His hand tightens its grip on the back of my head, and he uses the leverage to move me where he wants. My body heats, and a moan escapes me. What I want, I don’t know, but I know I need more of whatever he’ll offer.

---