Page 19 of Shattered Vows

His mouth forms a thin line, and he steps forward. “I came looking for you because I wanted an explanation.”

“And now you have it.”

“Jesus.” Kol links his hands and rests them on his shaved head, blowing out a long breath. “You should have just spoken to me about it.” His voice is pained as if he’s upset.

“I couldn’t trust you anymore.” Tears build in my eyes, but I blink them back. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t cry over him because he wasn’t real and what we had wasn’t real anyway. “Why didn’t you just tell me who you were when we met, if you didn’t have anything to hide?”

His hands drop. “My entire life, I’ve been judged by my last name. But you didn’t see any of that when we met. You only saw the man who stood in front of you. And I liked it that way. I didn’t want to ruin what we had.” I open my mouth to protest, but he scowls. “Don’t even try to feed me some bullshit line about how it wouldn’t have mattered to you. It did in the end. As soon as you found out who I was in the world, you ran.”

He’s right. Although it was more than just that. I hesitate for a moment and ask the question that has haunted me since that day. “Are you saying you didn’t murder your father?” I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

His entire face goes blank, void of all emotion. Somehow, that’s more unsettling than if he’d exploded in anger. “My father isn’t up for discussion.”

There’s a bottomless well of pain in his eyes. Why? I wonder who his father was to him.

I reach out to touch him. To comfort him maybe.

But he steps back. “Did you actually think I posed a threat to you?”

My heart speeds up. “I don’t know. I was so confused. My mom sprang the information on me, and she had proof that you’d lied. Everything she’d told me my entire life rang true, and I felt heartbroken and confused.” My face crumples as I bare my truth to him. I’m tired of hiding who I am and what I feel, trying to be someone I’m not anymore. “I have questioned every day for the past four years whether I made the right decision.”

I sink to my haunches with my hands over my face. I can’t bear to look at him. At the man I once loved but threw away because I let fear and guilt worm their way inside me. Whether that decision was the right one, I’ll never find out.

Kol is quiet for a long time, and eventually I stand, not looking at him. I turn and flop down on the bed in the same position I lie in all the time.

“How did your mom find out we were getting married?” He stands across the room, his voice far away.

“I don’t know. She ambushed me when I returned home from the grocery store. Usually she went, but she was too frail after returning from the hospital a couple days before, so I went.”

Again, I’m met with silence. No doubt Kol is scrutinizing my answers and examining them for any hint of a lie.

I have no idea if he believes me or not, because his footsteps cross the floor, then the door opens and closes, the key turning in the lock.

Why did I expect anything different?

Chapter

Nine

RAPSODY

I’m unsure what awakens me that night, but I get the distinct impression of being watched. I stiffen, listening, but I don’t hear anything.

“Kol?”

No answer.

I swallow hard and roll to my other side. A warm glow shines from under the door. My forehead creases, and I sit up in bed to get a better look. Some nights, Kol has left the sconces in the curved stairwell on, and I can see them flickering underneath the door, but this is different. This glow is warmer and brighter.

Rolling back to my other side, I turn on the lamp. It casts most of the room in shadows but lets me see well enough that I can safely walk to the door. I step off the plush rug that surrounds the bed, and my bare feet tread against the cool stone floor.

Pressing my ear against the door, I listen, but there’s no sound. I kneel to the floor to peek through the gap, but it’s only the same golden light, nothing else. I stand and my hand instinctively goes to the doorknob, knowing it’s a useless endeavor. But I freeze when it turns in my palm.

Did Kol forget to lock the door after he dropped off my dinner?

No. I heard him put the key in and lock it. It’s a sound I always listen for as if I’m still holding on to hope that I won’t die up here.

I turn the knob and heft open the heavy door, peeking down the staircase. The source of the light must be farther down the staircase. Its glow illuminates the stairs in front of me.

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