Page 75 of Shattered Vows

Taking her hand, I turn to make our way to the door. Everyone has left because they all know the deal—they don’t get to mess around in my private room unless they’re invited.

I lead Rapsody through the door, then I let go of her hand so I can lock it before slipping the key back in my pocket. When I turn to take her hand again, I spot one of the guys who was in the room approaching.

“Fuck off.” I grab Rapsody’s hand and tug her toward the private staircase back into the manor.

I did that guy a favor not letting him speak whatever words he intended. I’m pretty sure they were going to be something along the lines of “can I have a turn with Rapsody?” and if he’d said them aloud, I might have killed him.

When we make it back to my bedroom suite, I head into the en suite and turn on the shower. Rapsody didn’t say a word on the walk through the manor, and it dawns on me that maybe she regrets what we did—the bloodplay, fucking in front of others, all of it perhaps.

“Undress and get in the shower. When you’re done, I’ll put some antiseptic ointment on your cuts and bandage them. I’ll be right back.”

I step out of the bathroom so I can gather myself.

I wouldn’t blame her if she regrets it. Maybe I’ve done her a disservice by introducing someone as pure and so full of light to the depravity that courses through my veins.

I’m not a good man. The things I’ve done—some in the name of my country and some in the name of family… could she love me again if she knew what I’m capable of? If she knew what I’ve been keeping from her for my own selfish reasons?

I run my palm over my shaved head and blow out a long, steady stream of air. There’s only one way to know for sure.

Right after the shower, Rapsody fell into a deep slumber in my bed. When she woke up this morning, she seemed her usual self. Maybe I misunderstood her quiet, and she was only tired. It’s not inconceivable. What we did would take a lot out of anyone, especially someone as inexperienced as her. I’ll keep an eye out the next couple of days to make sure she doesn’t show signs of sub drop.

No matter. I’ve made the decision to tell her my greatest sins. Depending on how that goes, I may confess the information I’ve been keeping from her.

And if she runs scared when I tell her the things I’ve done?

Adapt and overcome.

That was the greatest lesson the military ever taught me, and it’s exactly what I’ll do. Because I’m not letting her go.

We spent the day in bed, having all our meals brought to us, then shortly before the sun began to set, I forced Rapsody out of bed and told her to get dressed. She joins me in the bedroom wearing a green romper with short sleeves that shows off her long, lean legs. The color is a close match to the green of her eyes.

“So what are we doing?” she asks.

I shove down my nerves, the same way I used to do before going on a mission, and take her hand. “I have a surprise I think you’ll like.”

Her face lights up as it always does at the prospect of experiencing something new.

I lead her out of the manor and onto the grounds. The sun has almost set now, but there’s enough light for us to make our way. A low-hanging fog swirls at our feet as we step over the grass.

Eventually we reach the pond. The lone light by the small dock has been turned off at my request. There’s also a rowboat in the water, tied to the dock.

Seeing the boat reminds me of my mother, and as always when I think of her, my mind flashes to the last time I saw her—gardening shears lodged in her chest and her dead eyes staring toward the sky.

I blink a few times to clear my mind of the image.

The boat isn’t often kept in the pond anymore since there’s no use for it, but I specifically asked Marcel to have Mr. Potter, who is in charge of the lands of the manor, make sure it was waiting for us tonight.

“Are we going in the boat?” Rapsody asks. “I’ve never been in a boat before.”

I nod as we step onto the wooden dock. “We are. I’ll help you in first.”

“Okay!”

Her childlike excitement removes some of the sting of the memories of my mother, though it’s impossible to remove it entirely given what tonight is.

Once Rapsody is in the rowboat, I untie the boat from the dock and get in, sitting opposite her, and pick up the oars. Mist swirls over the water with every row of the oars, and the sound of water dripping off them back into the pond is the only sound besides the chirping insects.

When we reach the middle of the pond, I set down the oars. The show should start any minute now.

---