Page 49 of Shattered Vows

In some weird, messed up way, I find it kind of sweet. Jeez, what is happening to me that I even think that?

My head drops, and I push my fingers into my hair, before pulling them out and probably making a mess of my braid. “So you’re telling me because you want me to know that even after you take my virginity, you’re going to sleep with other women once a month in the club, is that it?” My stomach sours.

He scowls. “No, I’m telling you because I want you to join me in the club.”

Oh hell. I want the experiences, and I want to live, but does he even understand what he’s asking of me?

Chapter

Twenty-Two

KOL

Rapsody’s eyes widen, the green of them matching the grass underneath us. This is the most shocked she’s looked during this whole conversation.

I didn’t know today was going to be the day I told her about the club, even if it was part of my plan all along to get her down there. Nothing screams debauched and ruined like sex in a club.

But when she pressed the issue of her virginity, something I’ve been holding off on god knows why… that’s a lie. I know exactly why. Because the idea of taking her virginity as part of some revenge plot makes me feel like the worst kind of person. Which is saying a lot after all I’ve done.

But I knew I couldn’t do it without her knowing about the club and knowing that some fucked-up part of me wants her down there with me. If I can’t be honest with her about my intentions, the least I can do is be honest with her about that.

Hell, I can’t even be honest with myself about my intentions these days. I don’t even know where my head is at.

“You want me to go with you?” Rapsody’s soft voice draws me from my thoughts.

“I do. It’s clear to me that I’m not going to be able to fuck anyone else, so I want you there with me. I want to show you yet another first.”

She puts up her hand. “To be clear, you want me to lose my virginity to you in front of a bunch of strangers.”

Shit. I should’ve explained this better. My thoughts are a riot in my head.

Am I fucking nervous? Jesus. I’ve been on missions with a high probability that I would not return, and I never felt this anxious.

“No, that’s not what I’m asking. There’s an initiation into the club that anyone who wants to be there has to go through. There’s no getting out of it, and it’s for everyone’s protection.”

“What’s the initiation?”

“You’d have to do whatever I wanted in front of everyone. No mask. It’s videotaped, and the tape becomes the property of my brothers and me. It’s kept as leverage in the event that someone wants to get chatty about what goes on in the Ritual Room.”

“So you do want me to lose my virginity in front of everyone, just without a mask.” Rapsody doesn’t even appear scandalized. Why doesn’t she look scandalized?

I rub my hand over my shaved head. “No, I’d think of something else. I like being in front of others, but I wouldn’t want them seeing that.”

It bothers me that I even care. Who the fuck am I? A month ago, I would’ve fucked her innocence out of her in front of everyone and not cared one bit that she might come to regret losing her virginity with an audience.

“Oh, I see.” Is that disappointment in her voice?

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but you won’t have much time to decide. The next gathering is this weekend.”

She leans closer to me, and her pear-and-vanilla scent wraps around me. “I don’t need time to think about it.”

“Rapsody…”

She comes even closer, setting her hands on my shoulders and pushing so I’m forced to lie back. Then she moves over me so that she straddles my lap. My dick twitches at the feel of the heat between her legs.

“I already know my answer. Yes.” She presses her lips to mine, but when she tries to deepen the kiss, I force her back by the shoulders.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this.”

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