Page 46 of Shattered Vows

“I’m surprised you haven’t ventured down to the stables already,” Kol says.

“I didn’t want to come on my own. I’ve never been around an animal as big as a horse before.”

Kol looks at me with a frown. “Sometimes I forget just how sheltered you were before I stole you away.” He takes my hand.

My heart flutters like hummingbird wings. Since our day by the pond when Kol told me about what his father did to him, I feel as though we’ve turned a corner. I hope I’m right.

“Didn’t you and Alistair ever go on dates?”

I’m surprised he’s asking, though his voice is strained. Kol gets upset any time anything to do with my ex-fiancé comes up.

Which reminds me, I really need to call Alistair and apologize.

“Not really. At first, we’d just chat before and after church service. Then I started attending more group meetings throughout the week to get out of the apartment, and he started showing up to them.”

“Your mom didn’t attend church with you?”

The stables come into view in the distance, looking more like the exterior of an expensive home than somewhere horses sleep and eat.

“No, she never did. I invited her to be polite and offered for her to come with me when I first started asking to go, but she never would. I don’t know why.” I glance at Kol, who has a contemplative look on his face.

“So what did you and Alistair do then?”

“A lot of our time was spent at church. It took months for me to convince my mom to let me go out to eat with him after church. No one was more surprised than me when she finally agreed. I kept pushing, so I think she could tell that I wasn’t letting it drop.”

Once the words are out of my mouth, it dawns on me that I could have done the same when she confronted me about Kol. I could have begged and pleaded for her to let me see him again to see if he had an explanation for everything she’d told me. I know why I didn’t… maybe it’s time he understands too.

“Kol, there’s something you should know.”

He pulls us to a stop with our joined hands. His forehead is wrinkled, and I can tell he has no idea what I’m about to say. “What?”

“The reason why what my mom told me affected me so much…” I nibble on my bottom lip.

He squeezes my hand. “Just tell me.”

“I was conceived the night my mother was raped by a man she was out on a date with.”

White-hot anger burns in his eyes. “How did you find out?”

I sigh. I hate talking about this on a good day, but at a time when I’m hiding out from my mother, it’s a reminder of how much she loves me, how much emotional turmoil she went through to have me…

“I got nosy once when I was younger and went through all the photo albums. I realized there weren’t any pictures of my mom when she was pregnant and none of me when I was an infant. When I asked my mother, she got upset and told me never to ask again. But me being me, I wouldn’t let it drop, and she eventually admitted the truth. She found it so hard to come to terms with the reality of my conception that she couldn’t bear to take any pictures until I was a little older.”

Kol drops my hand and steps forward, tucking some of the hair that has escaped my braid in the warm breeze behind my ear. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. That must be a hard thing to deal with.”

I nod, tears building in my eyes. “My whole life, I grew up knowing and hearing about how violent and selfish and what liars men are. I was a by-product of that fact.” I look down between our bodies. “When my mom showed me all those articles about you and explained who you really were… I don’t know. It just felt like she was right. She was right, and I was the naïve, sheltered little girl she’d been right about all along. I didn’t trust my own judgment.”

Kol tips my chin up with his finger. “I should have told you from the beginning who I was to the world. I’m the one who proved her right by lying.”

“I should have spoken to you before I ran away scared. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Something flashes in his eyes, too quick for me to make sense of, and he places a slow kiss on my lips before he pulls away. “I’m sorry too.”

Having that off my chest feels so good. I feel better now that he knows, and I know, with his own background, he’s not likely to judge me for it.

“Ready to go get your first look at a real live horse?” he asks.

I appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood. “Giddy up!”

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