Page 91 of A Deal with the Shadow King

“Am I worth any less because I’ve had sex with a man?”

I’m not surprised by the admission. I’ve realized by now that her world holds almost no shame in sex. “Of course not.”

She nods at my answer. “Of course not. And the same goes for you, Old World. No matter if you’ve had sex or not, you’re still you. It doesn’t change a thing. You are kind and smart and a total badass with a crossbow, and you better believe that has got nothing to do with any man's penis.”

Her tirade coaxes a teary laugh out of me. “If only that was true in my world, but my father doesn’t want me to come near my sister anymore. He thinks I’m going to corrupt her.” My voice breaks. “She’s everything to me, Lori. After my mother died… I can’t lose her, too.”

“You won’t.” Lori threads her fingers through my hair in a soothing manner. “I understand. Siblings hold a part of our soul…” Her teary gaze wanders off to the gardens, to the silvery silhouette of the Hawthorn, and reflects the pink hues of sunrise. “I never told you why I got stuck on library duty. I was supposed to help out with a hunt, but instead, I snuck out to visit my brother.”

Deep lines wrinkle my forehead. “Your brother? You went to visit him in the new world?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’m mortal, but my grandmother was Fae. As such, my brother and I both have magic. I displayed all the qualities of a shadow seed, but his magic was different. Lighter. And so he chose to train in the Spring Court.” She starts to braid my hair, her soft movements lulling me into a dream-like state. “Spring is all about making babies…” a wince twists her lips. “And a big part of their duty is to make mortals fall in love. My brother used to carve arrows for Freya, the Queen of Hearts herself.”

“Arrows? Like Cupid’s arrows?”

“Cupids are actually not at all cute and cuddly, believe me. But I found out Ayaan had been accused of treason and sentenced to life in prison. They said that he was selling his arrows on the black market, but I don’t believe it. They won’t even let me talk to him—” she pauses abruptly.

“I’m so sorry. Can I do anything to help? Did you ask the others?”

Eyes wide, she shakes her head. “You’re the first one I’ve told. Freya is dangerous as hell, and she despises the Shadow King.” Her lips pull together in a hard, determined line. “But I’ll get Ayaan out. I just have to keep faith and continue my training until I’m powerful enough to help him. So don’t despair. You’ll find a way to be with your sister. I’m sure of it.”

I rest my hand over hers and give it a small squeeze. “And I’ll help you find a way to clear your brother’s name.”

We smile, both sad and relieved to have each other.

Muffled voices rise from the gardens. “Thank you for this. I’m going to head in. I don’t want anyone else to see me like this.” I motion in the general direction of my puffy face.

She chews on her bottom lip. “Do you want me to come with you? I can get one of the others to cover for me.”

“I’m better now, thanks.” I give her a big hug and wipe down the last batch of tears, ready to shake it off and fight forward. “I’ll get some rest.”

I weave through the covered porch toward the entrance to the tunnels and come face to face with One.

The dark Fae freezes on the path, and I stop, too, stunned. An hour ago, I was pinned beneath him in a make-believe cornfield. What a difference an hour can make…

Our chests heave as we stare at each other, my salt-freckled cheeks and red eyes impossible to conceal.

“You’re not supposed to be back, yet,” he finally grounds out.

I catch a sniffle from surfacing and clench my fists at my sides. How does he manage to sound so detached when I’m simply dying inside. “You said this arrangement was fluid. Now, I need it to be fluid for me.”

He cocks his head to the side, his silence suffocating.

“It won’t make me lose the bet, right? I mean—it’s just a few days early.”

I need time to figure this out. Just a little more time.

“No…it’s fine.” One rubs the angle of his jaw, and a heavy sigh whistles out of me, my entire chest deflating. “You should go and meet with Three. As long as you’re here, you might as well get started on fantasies right away. At this hour, he must still be in his bedroom. I’m sure you remember where it is.”

A fierce blush heats my cheeks at the brazen reminder of my voyeurism session, but I stare at him until his throat bobs. “I thought I’d come to a sinful land when I first came to Faerie. I never imagined I’d be more scared to be home than to stay here. With you.” I walk closer and graze the collar of his jacket.

I can’t help how I feel, and I’m tired of hiding it. I know he feels it, too.

He takes a deliberate step backwards, his hands firmly tucked behind him. “Sin is a man-made concept, kitten. What’s sinful for a civilization is the basis of the next. So the mortal wheel turns.”

I arch a brow and press my luck, taking a giant leap forward. “Is there no sin in Faerie?”

He digs his soles in the ground, the game of cat-and-mouse over before it even started. “The only sin known to my kind is lacking the strength to do your duty. What’s the happiness of one soul worth compared to the good of the many?”

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