Page 83 of Love JD

As I leaned forward in my airline seat, sweating and shaking, fighting against my autonomic nervous system that seemed hell-bent on torturing me, I made myself a promise. I would just look at him. Just one look to make sure he was okay, to make sure he would make it through this and not be completely destroyed by this accident.

Then I could go. If I saw that he was safe, I could leave.

I pounded pretzels and electrolyte drinks on the trip, determined to be in good enough shape to tell Kael to shove off once we got there. Slowly, my nausea settled, and my headache eased away. By the time we landed in Seattle at almost midnight, I could stand and walk on my own without constantly falling against Kael.

He glanced down at me as we made our way slowly out of the terminal. “Tristan just texted me. Zev is fine. He fractured his shoulder and ribs, and he has a concussion, but he should be out in a day or two.”

I nodded numbly, stopping in the middle of the airport. He’s okay. Something inside of me collapsed, but I couldn’t tell if it was relief or defeat. He’s okay. You don’t need to see him, Isla. Just go. Get another ticket somewhere else. Get out of here.

“They said visiting hours are over, so I’m supposed to take you to Tristan’s apartment.”

“Who’s paying you?” I asked hollowly, still staring forward. “Him or me?”

“Y—uh, I don’t know. Who’s paying more?”

“Me,” I said automatically. “Give me a minute to think.”

Kael folded his arms, towering over me with height that almost rivaled Zev’s. I couldn’t help but remember the flight I’d taken with Zev when he’d “kidnapped” me and promised to teach me how to kiss. He’d been so gentle with me, and more than that, he’d made me feel accepted for the first time in my life. He had rolled with the punches instead of freaking out over my fainting episodes, and it had been the first time since my diagnosis three years ago that I’d felt… normal. He’d made it normal.

But it wasn’t normal. Forcing this life on someone else—someone healthy and able—wasn’t just unfair, it was selfish. This wouldn’t be the first time Zev would give up something important just because he was worried about my well-being. I knew that because I knew Zev. I knew the depths of his kindness, and I knew those depths had no end. He would do anything for the people he cherished.

Loved.

I love you so much it hurts.

I closed my eyes and crouched down in the middle of the airport terminal. As bags rolled past me and feet shuffled around me in the quiet airport, I leaned my forehead against my arms and hunched in a ball. “I can’t do this,” I whispered.

“What, walk?” Kael asked.

“No… this. I can’t go see him.”

“The fuck you can’t,” Kael replied angrily. “You put your health on the line to run to your boyfriend, and now you want to give up and camp out here instead?”

“Yeah.”

“God almighty,” Kael muttered, pacing away one step and then pivoting back to me. He kneeled on one knee in front of me. “Is this some kind of… girl crisis?”

I snuffed out a laugh, rocking my head in a “no” motion. “It’s a me crisis.”

“Is he a shitty boyfriend or something?”

“No, he’s amazing,” I said into my arms, still not looking up. “Just go, Kael. I wired you the money when we landed.”

He hesitated, still kneeling in front of me. “I feel really icky about that suggestion.”

“I feel icky talking to you,” I bit back.

“Harsh,” he muttered. “At least let me get you in a cab.”

I looked up, my eyelids shuttering over my irritated gaze. “I haven’t decided if I’m leaving the airport.”

“You’re… catching a red-eye back?” He cocked one full, dark eyebrow. I had the sudden impression that if pirates were real, Kael would totally be a pirate. He had the look.

“I don’t know where I’m going,” I grumbled. “Just go.”

“Man, you’re surly. You look all cute and squishy, and then it turns out you’re just as bad as Azura.” He tapped my forehead. “Whatever this is, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re imagining.”

I could imagine a lot. Suddenly, an image of Zev lying in a hospital bed, bruises along his face and monitors beeping, invaded my mind’s eye. I stood up abruptly, staggering. Kael steadied me, his crystal blue eyes dancing over me in confusion. I shoved away from him. “Okay, I’m going. I’m just—I’ll look. I want to see and make sure he’s okay.”

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