Page 161 of Save Me

“How attentive he is,” I answer, recalling how Dae showed me he pays attention to me. “How willing he is to provide me with what I want or need, even when I don’t ask.” I rethink that. “Especially when I don’t ask. His incredible heart. From the outside, he can seem cold and unapproachable, but he has a tremendous heart.”

I look my mother in the eye.

“You should see him with the kids at Spring Days. He’s incredible with them. It’s like he took the pain from being ignored by his father and the loss of his mother and turned that into love and kindness to those kids.

“And he’s so ambitious. It’s incredible what he’s achieved in such a short period with his business and—”

I stop and look at my mother, who’s grinning. It’s then I realize I’ve been rambling about everything I love about Dae.

What’s worse, though, is that I haven’t even scratched the surface. I could go on and on.

“But he can’t control my life.” I shake my head adamantly. “I will not live like that,” I insist. “Mom, what do I do?”

“Only you can answer that question,” she replies.

My shoulders slump. “I knew you would say that.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life is that relationships are hard. And the ones truly worth it are the most difficult. You’ll likely have your heart broken more than once by the person you love the most,” she explains.

I meet her eyes. “Did Daddy break your heart?”

She gives me a half smile. “More than once,” she answers with honesty.

“He’s also the person that’s held me while my heart was breaking. Who held my hand when I brought children into this world. Whispered in my ear how much he loves me when I sat in the hospital with a needle in my arm, receiving cancer treatment. And still refuses to let me lay my head anywhere except on his chest every night.”

She squeezes my hand in hers.

“You have to decide what you are and aren’t willing to accept in your relationship. And if this Dae can’t agree to those standards, you must be willing to walk away for good.”

Confusion wars in my chest. The very thought causes the pain in my heart to double.

“I don’t know if I can,” I admit.

My mom squeezes my arm. “When the time comes, you’ll know,” she tells me.

As comforting as that is, I’m still left wanting. My heart aches for Dae, but I can’t get over the betrayal. It’s not even that he knew me all along or that he never told me he was the boy from that alleyway.

It’s the fact that he manipulated my life without me knowing about it. That he took away my choices by locking me in his fucking house. How am I supposed to get past that?

The questions still swirl in my head as I leave my parents’ house. Though my mom encourages me to stay until my dad and Stasi get home so we can have dinner together, I can’t.

My dad will take one look at me and know something’s wrong. I don’t want to think about what he would do to Dae if he saw me crying over him.

I promise to come back and have dinner with them soon. I head home to my apartment with a heavy heart and still uncertain of what to do.

My head swims with questions, and I think all of the crying and sleepless nights are finally catching up with me.

This is likely why, when I get out of my car and park in my apartment's garage, I don’t see or hear the man who sneaks up behind me.

Before I know what’s happening, there’s something around my nose and mouth preventing me from breathing. I squirm and fight to get free, but all too quickly, my energy wanes.

It’s as if someone hit a switch. My legs, arms, and eyelids grow heavier by the second. Seconds later, everything goes black.

CHAPTER 48

Kennedy

As I slowly come to, my head feels like a boulder is sitting on it. I try to lift my head, but it’s a challenge. I attempt to move my body to get some relief from this weighty feeling, but my arms don’t budge.

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