Page 23 of Breaking the Ice

“What do you mean?” I ask with a trembling voice. His closeness claims me, calms and unsettles me at the same time.

“You know what I mean. I want to hear what you wanted to answer me earlier. Who is it that you want?” I swallow, seeing his dark gaze roam over my face.

“You know the answer,” I whisper. I'm not capable of more.

“I want to hear it.” He leans down lower towards me, his warm breath brushing against me. “I need to hear it. Tell me, who do you want?” he implores me. I blink against the tornado of emotions raging inside me. Uncertainty, hope, affection, desire...

Then, a single word escapes my lips: “You.”

14

Caleb

“Emma!” Toby and Mandy's shouts shatter the moment. They rush around the corner to their friend's aid. When they spot me, they slow down and come to a halt.

“Caleb?” Toby looks at me with a furrowed brow. I raise a hand to signal him that we're not finished here yet. Then I turn to Emma, who looks back at me with uncertainty, sandwiched between her friends.

“This is what I wanted to hear,” I say gently, wanting to cup her face in my hands and kiss her, when she lets out a regretful sigh.

“Unfortunately, that doesn't count.”

I move closer to her, sensing that something has changed.

“What do you mean?” A nauseating feeling of foreboding creeps over me.

“Caleb, you should go back to Jessica.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because I can't do this. I'm sorry, but I can't bear to stand between you two.” I hear the painful tone in her voice, see the suffering look in her eyes.

“This problem can be fixed. I'll leave her here and now.” It's the only right thing to do. I don't care if she then runs to her daddy and tries to turn him against me. I've crossed that line definitively. Determined, I push myself off the glass, ready to go upstairs and end the Jessica Flake chapter, when Emma stops me by the arm.

“Wait, Caleb! That wouldn't change anything. You would have left her because of me because I pushed myself into your relationship. I don't want that... I can't do that.” Emma's last words are no more than a whisper. I see a telltale glint in her eyes. “I'm sorry,” she whispers, stands on tiptoes, and plants a kiss on my cheek. Then she leaves me, head bowed.

“Emma!” I call after her. “Please don't do this, don't go!” Desperation courses through my veins, hot and scorching. Toby and Mandy, following their friend, give me a sympathetic look. I run my hands through my hair, not knowing what to do to salvage the situation.

When I eventually hear the car doors of Toby's SUV slam shut and they drive away from the parking lot, a fuse blows in me. “Goddamn it!” I shout, kicking the trash can in front of the Old Habana out of sheer anger. The force of the blow yanks it out of its anchoring, causing it to crash down with a dull thud. Its contents – a few coffee cups, cans, and other junk – spill out onto the gravel.

“Fuck,” I growl, pacing back and forth in front of the store. Following Emma is pointless. But I also don't want to go back to the party. I don't know how I'll react if I see Jessica's face again tonight. She called Emma a slit-eyed whore. That damn bitch! No, I can't possibly go back upstairs. Let them enjoy the playoff party without me. I need to get out of here.

Fishing the key to my bike out of my pocket, I head downstairs to the garage to retrieve my racing bike. There's only one thing that will help now: alcohol.

***

“Hey Baby, there you are again,” a concerned voice pierces through the fog in my head as I try to lift my eyelids.

“Is he awake?” That's another, much deeper voice. Slowly, I come to, which feels like emerging from a deep mire. I blink against the veils in front of my eyes. The image sharpens, and I recognize Jess and Parker. They're standing next to me, by a bed... a hospital bed – in which I'm lying!

“Am I dead?” I ask because that's exactly how I feel.

“Doesn't look like it, but it wouldn't have taken much more,” my buddy explains, shaking his head down at me. “What were you thinking?”

“Thinking about what?” I ask, sitting up, which makes my already pounding head feel like it's about to explode.

“Caleb, yesterday morning we found you a block away from the Brillant. You had an accident.” The Brillant? Yes, of course, I got wasted there. And then there was this girl dancing on the pole who reminded me of Emma. I wanted to see her, talk to her. So, I got on my bike and... after that, I don't remember anything.

“Wait a minute! Did you say yesterday? How long was I out?”

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