Page 47 of Breaker

I suck my lip ring into my mouth, thinking for a moment before I admit, "Tech has made sure she won't be able to take that job in Cali. She's not moving; I won't allow it. Knowing this, it helps, but I have a long fucking road ahead of me. We're not talking about her fear of being hurt here, Mrs. Sanders, we're talking about her fear of falling so deeply for someone that she'll lose herself like you did, and in doing so, hurting the ones she loves."

Her tears fall some more as she nods, guilt shining through her eyes.

Fuck….

A few hours later, and I'm fucking tired. After Quinn's mother left and I finished the paperwork, Sparkles cut Honey's hair with a razor. It took four of us brothers to break up their fight; the lovely scratch on my cheek was proof of how hard they fought to get to each other.

Fucking women!

I open the front door to the club for Noah to run inside. I picked him up from a friend's house and, as I expected, he hasn't said a word.

He blames me for why Quinn is leaving, and technically, he's right. It is my fault she's going—but it’s also Jingles’ fault. Quinn seeing me in bed with the bitch, and the hurt that took over, scared her enough to run.

Well, the running fucking stops now.

When I walk through the door into the common room, Lola rushes to the edge of the steps, obviously their letting her inside the club again. I sigh.

"Not now, Lola."

She swallows hard. "I-I know I messed up. I shouldn't have made a complaint against Quinn, but surely you can't keep me in the doghouse. I've only just been allowed back into the club. Quinn's still got her job, so I don't understand the problem. I've apologized over and over, and I am sorry I…."

I shake my head, about to shout at her, but my little boy, my five-year-old, does it for me. He grabs the nearest drink off a table and throws it over Lola, making her gasp as he shouts,"She's leaving because of you! I hate you!"then runs off. Momma quickly follows him as Doc comes to stand by me.

We still have our issues because of my relationship with Ken, and him not knowing she's my cousin, but he’s also had falling out with Sniper, whom Ken still contacts when she has time. When it comes to Quinn, though, he's got my back, even against his own sister.

Lola's eyes tear up when she hears my son cry, and Doc states, "The parents at the school staged a petition to have her removed because of your jealous lies. For years, you've wanted Breaker, without any encouragement from him. But we all know it's not him you actually want, it's what he represents and can provide. You saw Quinn as his forever and decided to be a bitch. Fuck, even Kennedy would be ashamed of what you've done." Lola flinches, knowing he's right. "Stay away from my brother, or you’re back out of the club!"

Doc pats my back in support as Lola's tears fall, guilt etching her features, but I ignore her and go to see where Noah has gone, not at all mad that he threw a drink at her. Snake, Tats, who's finally coming around the club more, and Smokey all pat my back, showing they are there for me. I am grateful, but the only thing, the only person I want right now, is my girl.

How in the fuck can I help her overcome her fear of being consumed by what she feels for me? Because that's what her problem is. She's petrified of me consuming her.

Doesn't she realize that she consumes me, too?

20

Quinn

I stare into the mirror as I run a brush through my hair, then pull it up into a high ponytail, wondering if I'm making the right decision.

Today, I'm meeting my dad.

I don't know why I've decided to go. It could have been the look in his eyes when I told him Momma's secret, or it could have been because of the night I spent with Alex—a night I didn't mean to happen. But when he looked at me like I was all he saw, when his fingers glided on my skin….

The man owns my heart, body, and soul, and I have missed him.

I guess this meeting today will determine whether I can overcome my fears, and whether a relationship with Alex will work.

An image of my momma lying on the bathroom floor, crying as blood pours down her hands hits me, and I have to squeeze my eyes tight, her words still haunting me….

"Why did he do this to us, to me? Why am I not good enough anymore?"

"I just want to die…. I have nothing left to live for…."

I shake my head, looking back in the mirror. Alex's black hoodie, which drowns me, becomes my main focus, and I am grateful he left it.

Momma did have something to live for; she had her kids. I guess we just weren't good enough.

My eyes tear up. I feel broken, and I'm not too fond of this feeling. I kept my heart locked up during relationships, but Alex broke the lock and dug himself deep.

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