Page 55 of Midlife Woes (Ex)

I think the fact that there were so many hands available this time around made all the difference in the world. It also helped that my mother-in-law was not a meddling know it all bitch, but a sweet woman who only wanted to look at her grandbabies with the biggest smile on her face and shop for them online every time her eyes opened.

I left the hiring of their nannies and nurses to Damon, not because I didn’t care or was too tired, but because he’s worse than the Gestapo. Young, old, sob story, no sob story, he had no chill. He vetted these people like they were applying for top security clearance. It was wild. Some of them had a better education than me.

Sheila was keeping me up to date so I know about the debate over whether or not Dabria, should get her own room. That’s our daughter’s name. In Hebrew text it’s the name of an angel, in some Latin cultures it’s the angel of death, I’m not sure which he was going for.

Anyhow, he wasn’t too sure about letting her stay in the same room as her brothers until the others assured him it wouldn’t matter until they were older. I slept through that one thank heaven. In the end it was decided that there was more than enough room for her crib in the sleeping room.

He'd already ordered her as much clothes as her brothers as well as toys and I heard about the special cleaners he had come in to make sure the place was germ free and ready for them to be brought home. I didn’t even know there was such a thing.

So, with all that, there was hardly anything left for me to do. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to switch up and become uninterested or start pawning off everything to me and the others, but it didn’t come, not even when we left the hospital almost a month later.

Damon had been back and forth some days, but I never left and someone was always with me during those times so that by the time we went home I was spoiled.

Things were entirely different here than they had been at the hospital because there weren’t any feeding machines and an entire hospital staff at our disposal. We’d been offered extra milk if required and Damon almost spazzed out on the people’s floor.

You’d think they asked him to hold the babies up to a cow’s udder or something the way he carried on. For this reason, I’d been pumping since day one and had a decent supply of milk to go around. Did you know that you need an entirely new and separate freezer to store the baby’s milk?

Of course, the four we already had weren’t enough. I spent the first few days at home sitting by the filling station, that’s what I call the little area he had made for me to sit and pump uninterrupted. I don’t think he’s getting the full experience because he seems to think this is easy, which of course it is when you have nurses and nannies working with you around the clock, not to mention family and friends that actually fight to help.

From what I’ve gathered, he’s got some kind of competition going with Kevin that’s all in his head. But who am I to stop him? Bless the doctor, she told him that I need time to heal as well and I think he thinks that means that I’m only allowed to lift my fork when I eat.

I’m going to feel for him when they start crawling or walking because he keeps bragging to anyone who would listen how easy his little angels are. No child has been as beautiful, as well-behaved, or did this or that sooner. They should have all the pages in the Guinness book of records to hear him tell it.

He's so cute it’s laughable, because he has no idea what’s coming.

* * *

DAMON

* * *

I walked aroundwith my little roster ticking off the things that had been done and making sure everything was as it should be before I turn in for the night. All the bottles were in their special little machine being cleaned, the diaper bins had been emptied and there was enough milk in the cooling fridge for tomorrow.

“Oh, I better check the supply.” I checked my notes to see who was up first for the tit tomorrow. We’re trying to keep it fair and though she prefers to breastfeed that doesn’t always work out because these little fuckers could eat.

I’m better at this shit because it helps me relax knowing that everything was in its place and we were way ahead of the game. I have contingency plans in place for any emergency I could imagine, though my wife just laughs and roll over whenever I mention them.

She’s a big ole Debbie Downer, so I ignore her mostly, as long as everyone else around here sticks with the program. I know they all laugh at me behind my back, but they’ll be lost without my schedules and the little post its I leave around the house to remind everyone what they have to do.

So far I have this place running like a well-oiled machine and I patrol the house every hour on the hour to make sure everything is running as it should. There are cameras and monitors in the nursery so that even a mouse can’t get by without me knowing it.

I was at the end of my inspection when my phone rang. “Hello!”

“What do you want us to do about this woman? It’s been almost two months, I don’t think we can hold her any longer without giving her, that phone call.”

“It’s fine, let her have her call.”

Not that it would do her any good. I’d already put a retainer on the more reputable attorneys in the area so she was going to have a hard time finding one to take her case.

She can’t make long distance calls and her phone has been reset to company settings. I happen to know she doesn’t remember numbers so they’re all in contacts, which are now lost. I had one more issue to deal with there as well, after seeing the pictures of her injuries, but that’s something to worry about another time.

JOLENE

Iwalked around the room, looking at the little gold name plaques that were on everything.

Damian, Dominic, Dane, Duncan, Davian, Darian Dabria. Their cribs, their wardrobes, toy chests, everything had their individual name on it, even their clothes. Who the hell had time for all that mess? Their dad.

He's fucking anal retentive, and I’m about to lose my shit. I have to look at their little bracelets to tell who is who; he looks at their faces, and nine times outta ten, he gets it right. His daughter is going to give the biggest diva in the world a run for her money because she’s got attitude already, and her little ass can’t speak.

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