Page 5 of Midlife Woes (Ex)

I watched the light die in his eyes, something I wish I didn’t have to be the cause of. See, this is the kinda shit that pisses me off about cheaters. They never think beyond their own selfish lust to the many lives their actions would impact. “What the fuck is wrong with your husband? She’s more than half his age.”

“Don’t put that shit on me; he ain’t no husband of mine. He stopped being that the minute it entered his pea brain to sleep with that little tart; forgive me. I’m still a little salty. I shouldn’t be talking about your slut of a daughter like that.” I really need to stop. It’s not poor Pressy’s fault that the women in his family are all bottom-feeding slut bags. Bless their hearts.

“I’ll kill him.”

“Be my guest, but it would be a damn shame for you to end up as Bubba’s bitch in prison.”

“Wait a minute, since when do you talk like that? What happened to the sweet, mild-mannered woman I know?”

“You can thank Peri for that; that bitch hijacked the old me and took up residence. I hear the bitch is going to be around for at least ten years, and she just might get worst.”

“Who the hell is this Peri person? I don’t recall knowing anyone by that name. She sounds like a raging bitch if she could turn someone as sweet as you into a foul-mouth sailor.”

Poor Sheila snorted her drink through her nose because she knew who Peri was, but I’d be damned if I was going to discuss perimenopause with Preston Thorpe. “Never mind all that; I just wanted to let you know what was going on before the whole world found out.”

“Her mother hasn’t mentioned anything to me about this.”

“I’m not sure she knows. The idiot judge is making me spend the next six months with that asshole, so I haven’t blown the whistle yet. She lost her job at his company, but I don’t know what excuse she came up with for that happening.”

The next half an hour was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. I had to sit there and answer his questions about what I knew about the affair, which wasn’t much, and I must have regretted being the one to tell him a hundred times. I guess I let my anger get the better of me, but on the other hand, this man was a friend since elementary school, so I would’ve felt worse if I hadn’t at least warned him before the whole thing broke.

As for his ex, I didn’t care one way or the other what she felt because I’m sure she wouldn’t see anything wrong with what her daughter had done since they’re both cut from the same bolt of cloth. With the way that woman hopped in and out of other people’s beds, it’s a wonder there wasn’t an outbreak of bedbugs on our street.

“She knows. Anne doesn’t do anything without Marly knowing, and that’s a fact. I just hope….” He started to look a little hot around the collar.

“You hope what?”

“Well, you see, the last time I spoke to Marly, I got a little pissed and might’ve said some things that went too far.”

“What does that have to do with your daughter hopping on my husband’s dick?”

“I might’ve told her to her face that I wish I’d have married you back then instead.” I didn’t know what to say because I had never dated Preston Thorpe a day in my life.

“Preston, you idiot. Why would you say that to your wife?”

“She wasn’t my wife at the time, and besides, she pissed me off. I’m sorry. This might be my fault.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure the two brain cells your daughter has in her head could’ve told her that what she was doing was wrong. So unless you walked her onto my husband’s joystick, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

That whole damn family is a bunch of menaces. Let me find out that hag sent her daughter to destroy my life because her ex-husband can’t get over a childhood crush.

He didn’t stay much longer after that, and I didn’t want him to. Unlike my husband, until the ink is dry on my divorce papers, I won’t even let myself entertain the thought of looking at another man. I don’t want lightning to strike me down dead. But as soon as….

“You’re gonna fuck him, aren’t you?”

“You doggone right I am. But that’s a conversation for another time. First, I gotta get rid of that dead weight in my house.”

CHAPTER6

“Where the hell have you been?” My used douche nozzle of an almost-ex met us at the door, where Sheila was doing her best to keep me from falling flat on my ass. I’d switched from wine to hard liquor a little after Preston left, and the drinks were going down so good I couldn’t make myself stop.

Sheila, this heifer, just sat there and let me and then spent the last half hour berating me for drinking too much. She’s just mad that she couldn’t drink as much because somebody had to get us back home. I ignored his stupid ass and kept trying to remember which foot I’d used last.

“Do you know how this would look if it got back to my mother?”

“Sheila, tell that…. thing, that the last time its host was here… What was it that I told her again? Was it eat a dick or suck a dick? Whatever, tell it for me that its incubator could eat a whole bag of dicks for all I care.”

“Why is she in this state? What kind of friend are you anyway, Sheila, to let her get like that?” I smacked my ear and took her attention off of him. I’m in no state to go down to the local jail to bail her out, and I know she’s just looking for an excuse to take him out.

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