Page 22 of Midlife Woes (Ex)

“You not ended up on Unsolved Mysteries. Or one of those Dateline shows, fuck that. Jonathan is downstairs with his gun, and I’ll be staying in here with you.”

“Only you could make me laugh at a time like this.”

“Come on, let’s get drunk off our tits and stay up all night.”

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“You think I’ll let you go down there alone?”

“No, ma’am. I’ll be here for the next week until…”

“Wait a minute, you got over here very fast. Did you have all of this ready?”

“Of course, either way, we were gonna need it all. The only difference is if you stayed, I’d have gotten you drunk and high, but I’d have shot off one of his balls for fucking with my friend.”

* * *

We sure did get pissdrunk but not too drunk to go down and sign the papers the next day. I was so numb afterward, with butterflies in my stomach and a sick, dizzy feeling, but the one thing I didn’t feel was regret.

I knew I had to do this for me most of all. I couldn’t let the past or my one-sided love for Kevin hold me back in a place where I didn’t belong. I say one-sided because I’d spent the night after Sheils fell asleep thinking of all the times I’d been hit on throughout our relationship, all the times I could’ve cheated and didn’t. Not only didn’t I give in to temptation, but I recalled how offended I was by the very thought that I would cheat on my husband.

I didn’t think any of those things. He probably didn’t think of me at all. And that’s enough for me to want to let go. “How are you holding up love?”

We were in the back of Jonathan’s car, holding each other.

“I’m fine. I guess it’s not going to feel like it’s over until he moves out. I hope he doesn’t make a scene or refuse to go.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. Didn’t I tell you I was staying with you for a week?”

“Yes, you did.” I’m glad I have one relationship from back then that never failed.

* * *

By the third day,it didn’t look like Kevin was planning to leave, so Sheila told me she’d be right back. She came back with boxes and a U-Haul that she had delivered to the house. I didn’t even know they did that. That evening when Kevin came home and saw most of his shit in boxes, I almost had a stroke.

He started yelling and screaming, and unbeknownst to me, Sheila Face Timed Savanah. “Hey Savanah, hey, how is school my love?”

“Aunt Sheila, is Mom okay?”

“Your Mom’s fine, love. We’re helping your Daddy pack up because he’s moving in two days.”

“Hey, Dad, where are you moving to? Did you find an apartment yet?”

“Uh, no, not yet. I’m still looking.”

“Savanah Buttercup, let me call you right back.” She hung up with Savanah and scrolled through her phone while Kevin and I just looked at her, maybe in shock. I know I was wondering what was going on.

“Hey Dalton, hey, it’s me, Sheila. Listen, the divorce is final, and your one and only son doesn’t have a place to stay. Yes, sir, okay.” She hung up the phone and turned to us.

“Your Daddy’s coming to get you.”

Dalton showed up and kissed me, and Sheila on the cheek gave his son a look, and before we knew it, there were three men in my house carting out boxes while my ex seethed. He knew better than to say anything to his Daddy, or he could kiss that inheritance goodbye.

When the last box was gone, the house actually felt lighter. Dalton gave me one last hug, “If anyone gives you any issues, and you don’t get what you’re supposed to, you just let me know, you hear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, what?”

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