Page 77 of Upon Shattered Bonds

“I’m sorry for sending you away.”

“There is nothing to forgive,” he responded quickly—too quickly. A muscle worked in his jaw, his uneasiness all too apparent.

“There is, Drake, otherwise you’d be looking me in the eye right now.”

For several halting moments, he didn’t respond, continuing to stare out the panoramic windows. The tightness around his eyes said more than his words ever could.

“I understand why you did it, sire.”

“But you were wounded by it.”

“Of course I was,” he admitted, his throat working. “Why did you send me way? Why didn’t you trust me?”

“It’s not about trust, Drake,” she said. “By all accounts, my death was inevitable: I should be dead. The plot against me was irreversible from the moment it was put into play. Luther’s death set off a chain of events that nothing and no one could stop, me least of all, and damned if I was going to let you watch me die.”

“You survived by the skin of your teeth, after defending yourself from five men dead set on killing you,” Drake snarled. “And when you collapsed after your recoil—when both you and your new mate were utterly helpless—you became more vulnerable than you’d ever been before.

He shook his head, adding, “You chose to bring your lieutenants to witness what you believed would be your downfall with no thought to your fledglings. After you succumbed following battle, you needed protection, but because you’d sent me away, I wasn’t there to defend you.”

“It is not your job to defend me, Drake, and I would never ask it of you!”

“But that wasn’t your choice to make—it was mine!”

Jerking his head away, he pulled back his lips to expose lengthening canines. Drake vaulted to his feet, unable to keep his volatile energy contained.

“How many times have you been there for me—to support or protect me—through the years? How many times have I come to you for wisdom? You left for a century, Nina, without knowing just how much it’d affect us—affect me,” he hissed. “And in the end, when you needed us most, we had to watch from the sidelines.”

Nina’s chest tightened at the angst of his words. Bowing her head, she closed her eyes as shame trembled through her. There could be no denying the honesty of his words, and she knew he’d spoken from the heart.

At the time, she’d thought only of shielding him from the inevitability of her death, thinking to spare him and Toni from what would come. Too many people she’d seen die before her eyes, too many lives cut short.

“I was trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection!” Across from her, his eyes iced blue. “Maybe when I was younger, but I haven’t been a child in a long time. Respect me enough to let me make my own decisions, Nina!”

The tears that’d threatened before began to fall. Instead of squeezing her eyes shut or looking away, she held his gaze, accepting the blame and letting him vent his frustration.

“You’re right,” she whispered. “I should’ve given you the choice instead of making it for you. I let my pride and my fear rule me, and it hurt you in the process. That was never my intention, Drake.”

At her response, Drake’s shoulders loosened. He’d held in the hurt for so long, and now that he’d let it out, he deflated. Letting out a long-suffering sigh, he nodded.

“I know it wasn’t.”

There was a fissure of air as he sat beside her. He folded an arm around her shoulders and dragged her against him. Though she stiffened at first, she recognized the gesture for what it was: a peace offering. Sighing, Nina dissolved into the comfort he freely offered, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

“Do you remember when I said I made a poor decision?” she asked.

He nodded.

“One of the reasons I left was to fix my mistake,” Nina said. “It had far-reaching consequences, and so many lives were impacted. It was dangerous, and I no longer trusted myself when it came to the people around me.”

“Is that why you pulled away from everything?” he asked. “Because you didn’t trust yourself to keep us safe?”

“I didn’t trust myself to make the right decisions. And sending you away—” she swallowed the pride that threatened to make her silent, “sending you away was as much protecting you as protecting myself.”

“In what way?”

“I didn’t want you to see me fall. Witness my failure. I felt like I had to be infallible, otherwise I’d let you down somehow.”

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