Page 117 of Haunted

“Yes…” Niawen considers his words.

Kenrik has a point. Niawen and I are bound by light. But if she takes her light out…? She won’t be able to feel me.

That is not happening.

I edge closer. “I don’t know what you’re proposing, but that’s impossible. Niawen’s mine. She will always be a part of me, and I, a part of her. As will her child.”

Niawen whirls on me. Her body shakes as her thoughts stab me.

Every person I know carries light, she thinks. Light is my immortality. Light snuffs out with death. If I take my light out, will I eventually die as a mortal?

Could I live with Kenrik if I do this? Am I willing to give up my immortality and grow old? Could I subject myself to sickness? Run the risk of developing a disease?

Enough of these notions! I grab her arm and pull her to my chest. Her eyes are crazed. Her hair wild. I brush her hair back and make her look at me. “You aren’t thinking clearly, my darling. I know you want to help your friend, but your state is too delicate to heal him, his injuries too extensive. You’ll harm our child.” I love you.

He hurt Kenrik because of his love for me. Niawen clearly forgets I can hear her thoughts. Because Caedryn thought I would choose Kenrik over him. His love is distorted, confused.

I know what love is!

She shakes me off. “You told me he was Rapion. I could have begun his healing this afternoon. Let me heal his legs at least. The breaks will kill him in a few hours. I’ll proceed slowly. If you want to earn my trust back, let me do this.”

Her words slap me across the face. “I’ve broken your trust in me?”

“Yes.”

“You despise me.” My face tightens. Hurt is everywhere in me. “I’m no fool, Niawen. Disgust is in your eyes. I’m an abhorrent monstrosity. Nothing but a vile, malformed shell to you.”

“Caedryn, I gave you my heart. We can fix our relationship. Our love is damaged, but it can be repaired.”

“You’ll never stop looking at me as if I’ve broken your heart!” There’ll be only one way out of this.

“You have!”

“No. No,” I say carefully. My darkness surges in my heart-center. “You will forget what I’ve done. I’ll make this as though it never happened. Heal him. Take him away, and I will make you forget.”

“You can’t make me forget. You can’t erase what you did.”

“What I did? You drove me to my actions. Your heart was all over the place. You carry feelings for several mortals. You ran from them because you couldn’t pick just one of them. I lived with this confusion in your head, slipping into my thoughts! How do you think that felt? I was looking at only you. I was loving only you!”

“While living with the memories of the empress!” she shrieks.

“Going back to her was an impossibility! They were nightmares!”

“My feelings for them are an example of how people love. I’m not in love with them. I care about them the same as I care about family.”

“You kissed Kelyn. You wanted him.” I sneer with disgust as I think about the night of the attack.

“You saw that?”

“I see everything. Why not take them all, Niawen? Keep me for your immortal soul mate while satisfying your lust for them with them. As they die off, you could take a new plaything. A new generation to fawn over your godlike body.”

“You’re foul! Why would you say such things? After all we’ve shared, how can you be so cruel?” Her light flares out and slams into my chest.

I stumble backward but keep my footing. “You want to play games with me?”

A throbbing sensation begins under my skin. Immense pressure. A storm rises inside me. Blackness rims my vision. Niawen’s not used to my dark power. I sense her reaction. The tightness of her body.

The fear.

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