Page 65 of Left on Read

“Yeah. Sexting? What are your thoughts?”

“It’s fun?”

He laughed again.

One thing about River was that it never felt like he was laughing at me when I said awkward things. I wasn’t used to that.

“I’m kind of the same. I’ve shared pics before, but only things that can’t identify me. I need to be extra careful because I work with kids. I don’t even have social media because I don’t want what I do on my off time to impact my job.”

He made a sympathetic sound. “It sucks you have to deal with that. I never understood why people care what grown-ass adults do when they’re off the clock. It’s like we forget that people aren’t their jobs and have lives outside of working.”

“So much for that work/life balance we were promised.”

He snickered. “I don’t know anyone who only works a full-time job anymore. Everyone has a side hustle or gig or whatever the fuck we’re calling it now. But we’re the lazy ones, right? The entitled kids who don’t want to work.”

“I’ve been hearing that since I was an actual kid.” I settled back against my pillows. “Luckily I was never big on sharing my life with strangers online, so I don’t miss it.”

“Same. But not because of my job or anything. I doubt anyone cares if the guy who installs their drywall or frames their house moonlights as a stripper, but I don’t like how toxic social media is. And my brain likes doomscrolling, so I just avoid it all for my sanity.”

Silence stretched between us, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. That was one of the things I liked most about talking with River. Silences were never awkward, and he didn’t talk for the sake of talking like a lot of people I’d met.

He tended to jump from topic to topic and sometimes said the most random things that seemed to come out of nowhere, but it kept our conversations interesting and created a natural flow that made talking about difficult topics easier.

“But back to what we were talking about,” I said, circling back. “I’d have to completely trust someone before I could be comfortable enough with them to trade nudes or videos.”

“What about making videos with someone for private use?” His eyes darkened, and that smile-smirk that drove me nuts tilted one side of his mouth.

My mouth went dry. “You mean like doing…stuff together and recording it?”

He nodded.

“I’ve never done that.”

“Me either. Would you? Under the right circumstances and with the right person?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

A week ago, I would have said I’d never make a sex tape with anyone. Not only because of my job or my trust issues, but because I hated the idea of seeing myself naked. But the thought of seeing River in those videos was way more intriguing than I was willing to admit just then.

“What about not recording things?” he asked, pointing the camera down, revealing a huge bulge in his sweats.

My own dick, which had gone half hard thinking about naked River and sex tapes, perked up and went to full mast.

He pointed the camera back at his face. “Was that the wrong thing to show you?”

“Not the wrong thing at all.” I covertly adjusted myself, memories of last weekend flooding my mind.

His taste, the way his girth had stretched my lips, how long and perfect he was without being too much. How he’d been so gentle but still forceful enough to get my blood boiling.

I’d convinced myself that the benefits part of our arrangement would mostly be me showing him all the wonders of sex with men so he could ease himself into this new facet of his sexuality.

But he’d not only wanted to reciprocate, he’d enjoyed it.

All those elements had played a starring role in my fantasies since that night, but the part I thought about the most was how he’d put all of his focus on me.

And the way he’d talked was next-level hot. How he’d built me up and made me feel sexy and confident and like he wanted nothing more than to be there in that moment with me.

I’d never been into dirty talk because I’d only ever heard degrading and crass things from past partners. River’s words had calmed my ever-present anxiety, allowing me to shut my brain down and give myself over to the moment, and to him.

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