Page 80 of Left on Read

“You didn’t discourage it either.”

“Stop deflecting because you know that doesn’t work on me. What else is there? You’re not telling me everything.”

“I just… I can’t help wondering how many other people he’s talking to right now. How many other people he’s hooking up with. He can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants, obviously, but I’m jealous. I don’t like feeling this way. I have zero right to be upset, but I am.”

“Did you guys talk about that kind of thing? Like what your boundaries are for that when you set things up?”

I shook my head. “We talked about other boundaries and rules but got distracted before we got to that part.”

Ryan snickered. “Distracted, huh?”

“Shut up,” I grumbled.

“Come on.” Ryan put his hands on his knees and pushed up. “On your feet, soldier.”

“Why?” I stood.

“Because we’re going out.”

“Drinks and distraction time?”

“Yup.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket and shook them. “I’m crashing here tonight.”

“Are we driving or calling an Uber?”

“Depends on if you want to get hammered when we’re out or wait until we get back here.”

I didn’t like getting drunk in public because it made me anxious to feel out of control and vulnerable around people I didn’t know.

“Wait until I’m here.”

“Then get your butt in my car and trust the process.”

“Process?” I pushed my glasses up again. This pair had always been a bit big, but they were my favorites.

“Yup.” He pointed at my front door. “Come on. One foot in front of the other.”

Wordlessly, I followed him out of my house. It wasn’t like things could get any worse.

“What the hell are we doing here?” I smacked Ryan’s shoulder with the back of my hand as he pulled into the parking lot of Crimson.

“I told you to trust the process. This is the process.” He maneuvered the car into a parking spot and turned off the engine. “You can’t tell me you’re not insanely curious about this place.”

“I am, but I can’t just show up here after telling him I had a headache.”

“Headaches go away. It’s not like he’d expect you to spend the night alone in your house all night just because you feel better.”

“Maybe not, but being here doesn’t feel right. Like I’m violating his trust or something.”

“He was open with you about his job from the beginning. Did he ever make any indication that he didn’t want you to come here?”

“Well, no.”

“So what’s the problem? We’ll keep hidden. And we won’t stay long. Just have a drink, get a feel for the place, and leave. Bingo bango.”

“Bingo bango?” I shot him some side eye and closed the car door behind me.

“Sounds better when Johnny says it.” Ryan shrugged. “Now take a deep breath so you don’t pass out on me and relax. We’re not doing anything wrong.”

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