“I try to be understanding because that’s how dating culture works now, but it sucks because I’m not good at texting, and I prefer to get to know someone before going out, so I’m not what most people are looking for.”
Hayden’s soft hand on my thigh snapped me out of the daze I’d fallen into. I looked up to find him watching me with a look of understanding on his handsome face.
A little burst of adrenaline detonated in my chest.
Hayden was handsome; I just hadn’t seen it until I’d let myself think of him as a sexual partner and not just as a friend.
I’d thought his features were interesting, but his button nose, full lips, and high cheekbones were both delicate and rugged, and his hazel eyes were more green than brown. I loved how they changed color depending on his mood, and seeing him in his glasses gave me an instant boner.
He wasn’t big or bulky, and he wasn’t slim and lean. He fell in that in-between range where he carried a little extra weight but would still be classified as average-sized for most people. It looked good on him, and felt even better against me.
“I’ve dated a lot, but I haven’t had many relationships,” I continued. I never knew when to shut up and stop talking, but Hayden seemed interested. Hopefully I wasn’t ruining things by oversharing. “Or any, really. The big difference between those and what we have is that I cared about you as a friend first, so that’s the part of whatever we have going on that’s most important to me. I hope you feel the same, but?—”
“I do!” He bit his lip. “I just don’t want to mess things up by assuming anything.”
“Which is why we need to talk things out so we don’t hurt each other.”
“Okay.” He shifted to face me. “So, we’ve agreed that being friends comes first?”
“Yes.”
“And…” He pursed his lips. “I’m at a loss.”
“What are your limits with sex?”
His cheeks went ruddy. “Limits?” he squeaked.
“Yeah. Like, what are you into? What do you enjoy?”
“You mean my kinks?”
“Yes, but not just those. Like, when we’re in private. How do you want us to act?”
He kind of slow blinked at me.
“Friendly? Flirty? Is touching okay? Like non-sexual touching? I’m really tactile with people when I’m comfortable with them. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable if that’s not okay with you.”
“It is. I’m just…I never know how to act around people, either. But I want you to be yourself. If touchy and flirty feels natural, then that’s what I want you to do.”
“And in public?”
“Maybe keep things friendly?”
I nodded, pushing aside my disappointment. I already knew this was just a casual thing for him. It wasn’t fair to put my feelings above his wants. “And what about sex?”
“Sex?”
I smirked at his shocked expression. “Yeah. I mean, I assumed that’s the benefits we’re talking about.”
“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Sex is good?”
“Yes, it is.” I chuckled. “But I meant more like, what limits do you have? What boundaries. Is there anything you like or don’t like?”
“No one’s ever asked me that before.”
“I never did before either. But now I’m like, why wouldn’t you ask what your partner likes? Especially when you’re still in the get to know each other stage.” I pushed my hair back from my face. “My buddy used to be in porn and?—”
“Porn?!” Hayden’s eyes were as round as saucers.