Page 107 of Left on Read

“I ruined everything.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I did,” I insisted. “How am I supposed to keep pretending like I’m just his friend now that I know the truth?”

“You can’t,” he said simply. “That’s not how you’re wired.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“You need to decide if it’s worth telling him.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not going to do that to him. Not after he said he only wanted to be friends. I can’t lose him.”

“Riv,” he said softly. “Look at me.”

I did, fighting the panic rising in my chest.

“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. It’s one of your greatest strengths, but it’s also the reason you’re miserable right now.

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt. It’s not supposed to make you sad or be the reason you pull away from your friends. It’s only a good thing when it makes your life better.”

My stomach bottomed out. He was right.

“And right now, being in love isn’t making anything better for you.”

“It figures I’d finally find my person, and they don’t love me,” I muttered.

“If that’s true, then that’s a him problem. You’re not the issue here, and you’re not at fault. You can’t control your feelings.”

“I guess not,” I mumbled.

“I’m not going to say a bunch of flowery shit to make you feel better, but I am going to ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me.”

“Always.”

“Why are you so set on the idea that there’s one perfect person out there for you? I’ve heard you talk about finding your soulmate since we were kids. Do you believe in soulmates?”

“Of course. Don’t you?”

“No. Never have.”

“You saw Mom and Dad. You honestly don’t believe they were soulmates?”

“Nope. They loved each other, but I don’t believe they were meant to be or anything. I don’t believe there’s one perfect person out there for us.”

“Do you remember when I asked Dad how he knew Mom was the one for him?” I asked softly.

“Vaguely. What were we, seven?”

“Eight. He said he knew because she was his other half. That they fit perfectly together and that was how he knew she was his soulmate.”

“That’s bullshit.”

I looked at him in surprise.

“I get the sentiment, but it’s not true, not in a literal sense.”

“You found that with Noah.”

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