I nodded again, my throat too tight to talk.
“Has he told you much about our parents? Who they were and what kind of life we had when they were alive?”
“Not too much. Anecdotes here and there, but not a lot of details.”
“Our parents had one of those epic romances everyone always talks about. They met in middle school and started dating when they were fifteen. Dad was a star quarterback, and Mom was co-captain of the cheerleading squad. They were Homecoming King and Queen, and everyone adored them.” He snort-laughed, but it was devoid of any sort of emotion. “They were those people who should have peaked in high school, but they didn’t. They went to college, got good jobs, and built a life most people could only dream of. They had it all. And they loved each other so much that Riv and I spent our childhoods feeling like an afterthought because their relationship always came first.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, my mouth dry as my mind spun with a crush of thoughts. This conversation had taken so many twists and turns I could barely process it all.
“Because I want you to know what my brother saw growing up. What he’s always wanted.”
I nodded slowly, my head, my mind still reeling from all the truth bombs he’d dropped.
“I didn’t grow up like that,” I said, hoping this was an okay time to interject.
Zane stayed quiet, letting me talk.
“My parents care about each other and they’re happy, but my family treats marriage like a business transaction. Everything is about optics and shared goals, not love or romance. It’s the same for my siblings. They all married young and have perfect lives on paper, but I sometimes wonder if they chose their spouses because they love them or because they’re compatible and want the same things in life.”
“And what do you want?”
I squirmed. I’d never talked to anyone but Ryan about this. I didn’t like being put on the spot, but this was River’s twin. Zane was only looking out for him.
“A partner.” I rubbed my hands together, the ridged material of my sweater cuffs catching in a way that was weirdly soothing. “Not just because we want the same things in life or because we happen to be compatible. But a real partner. Someone who loves me as much as I love them.”
“Sounds like you want similar things.” Zane pushed off from where he was still leaning against the wall. “River has friends, he has his family, but he needs a partner who’ll be the person he not only wants, but deserves.”
Silence hung between us, thick and tense.
“What if I’m not what he needs?” I asked, or rather, rasped, since my throat was still tight with all the emotions swirling around inside me.
“Then you need to step back and let him find someone who is.”
“This…is a lot,” I said when the silence between us stretched.
“I know, but we wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t think you could be that person.” He glanced at the front door. A moment later, it swung open. Noah and River spilled inside, laughing hysterically about something.
Zane slipped away, leaving me standing there like a statue, his words echoing in my ears.
Zane wasn’t a talker. He joked and said random shit to make people laugh or to piss them off, but he wasn’t the type to initiate a heart-to-heart with anyone if he didn’t think they were worth his time. He’d said more to me in this conversation than he had in the entire time I’d known him.
“Hey.” River came to stand in front of me, his brow knitted with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I cleared my throat. “Just zoned out there for a second.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. All set?”
“Yup. Still good to take your car?”
I pulled my keys out of my pocket and jingled them. “Want to drive?”
Grinning, he took them and pecked a kiss against my lips. “Heck yeah.”
Linking my arm in his, I followed him out of the apartment, my brain working overtime trying to process everything I’d learned about River and his past.
Zane might think I could be River’s person, but I wasn’t sure. I cared about him, could easily fall for him if I let myself, but how could I ever be enough for him?