He crossed his ankles. “No. We didn’t have to deal with any of that bullshit, thank fuck.”
I wanted to ask more, to get some sort of picture of who he was and what his life was like. But I didn’t.
Zane was only talking to me because of the weed. I might have just trauma-dumped all over him, but that didn’t mean he’d do the same.
He had friends, his brother. Probably a girl or two waiting for him in the wings.
He wasn’t the loser I was.
He wasn’t alone.
Silence descended on us.
Zane’s presence was comforting in that it made me feel less alone, but it also made the loneliness worse.
Fuck I hated my brain sometimes.
“Do you work tonight?” I asked, more to fill the silence than because I wanted to know. It was Friday. As far as I knew, he worked every Friday.
“Yep. Any plans this weekend?” he asked, his tone a bit stilted.
“Not really.”
I did have plans, but spending the weekend watching a toddler and an infant wasn’t exactly the type of thing someone like Zane would consider plans. He had his job, his other friends. Probably some private dances and maybe a hookup or two.
Visions of him gyrating and grinding on some hot chick danced in front of my eyes. Another of him and that random woman against the back of the building played beneath it. A third, this one of him holding her down and fucking her the way he’d fucked me joined the fray.
Godfuckingdammit.
Why.
Why did I have to have the ability to not only think of multiple things at once, but be able to picture them like I was wearing a VR headset and third-wheeling the action in real time? And why the fuck couldn’t I control what I saw, or even just turn it off?
The muted tone of a phone’s vibration cut through the music in my ear and the mess of thoughts spinning around in my head.
Zane pulled his phone out of his jeans and checked his notifications.
“Do you need to go?”
“Riv and Gray are just finishing up. They’ll be here in twenty.”
“Quick workout?”
He nodded. “They have a routine they like to do on work nights. It hypes them up and gets them ready for their shift.”
“You don’t go with them?”
“Usually, but I don’t need to go like they do.”
“What do you mean?” I glanced at him sidelong. A lock of hair had fallen over his cheek, highlighting his ridiculous good looks and that jaw that could cut glass.
“They need the outlet.” He flicked his gaze to me.
I tore my eyes off him and looked straight ahead. Had he seen me staring like a creeper?
“Outlet?” I asked. Please sound normal and not like you’re about to lose your shit for no reason.
“Yeah. They’re both a bit…high energy. They need to keep their bodies busy so they don’t get in trouble.”