Page 62 of Best Served Cold

“You’re confused,” he stated.

“Yeah.”

“What part is confusing you?”

“All of it. What does attraction feel like?”

“It’s different for everyone. But I feel it in my stomach. When I see someone I think is attractive, I get a little flutter, like butterflies. Sometimes it moves up my chest if I get to know them and start liking them. It kinda feels like…you know when you get scared or startled? That little burst of adrenaline that sorta tickles and sets you on high alert?”

I nodded.

“That. When I like someone, I feel that.” He tilted his head, his expression shrewd as he studied me. “Are you attracted to Noah?”

“I’m not sure,” I said honestly. “I don’t understand any of what I’m feeling.”

“So describe it to me and I’ll help you figure it out.” He patted my knee. “Let’s gather the council.”

I smiled despite myself.

River and I weren’t great at talking to other people, but we had no issues having long conversations about whatever either of us needed to work through or process together.

When we were kids, River had started calling our talks “council meetings” and we even gave names to our different personalities. Neither of us truly had more than one personality, but we’d pretended that our different sides, like the logical side, or the creative one, were separate entities and they all worked together to help us come up with a plan or solution to whatever we were dealing with.

I hadn’t heard him refer to those days for years. The nostalgia helped calm some of the wild energy that had been crackling under my skin since last night.

“He’s interesting.”

“How so?”

“Like, his face is stupid and he annoys the shit out of me just by existing, but I don’t hate it.”

“What else?”

“I’m not sure. It’s like when I’m talking to him, all I can think about is how annoying he is and how much I want him to shut up, but at the same time I don’t. And I get these moments where I feel something like what you described. A little flutter or that startled feeling, but there’s always something ugly under it.”

“Ugly?”

“Yeah. Like anger, but not quite. I see the way Kai looks at Alex or how Gray looks at Caleb, and it’s nothing like how I feel. They’re all sweet and lovey and googly-eyed. What I feel is…dark…compared to that. Almost violent?” I mused.

“Maybe you have a fighting kink?”

“I don’t think so. At least not in that sense. And we’ve never fought. Not like how Kai or Gray describe what they’re into. I mean, we verbally spar, but we haven’t put hands on each other like that. I’ve been tempted, but only because he’s irritating and not because I actually want to hurt him or anything.”

Nodding, River tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Was last night the first time you guys did stuff since the dare?”

I let my head fall back against the couch. “No.” I rolled my eyes to look at him, not lifting my head. “We kinda hooked up at Mason’s.”

“How did that start?”

Closing my eyes, I angled my face toward the ceiling. “I don’t even know. We were arguing about if he has his stupid dick piercing and we started goading each other about the dare. The next thing I knew we were against the side of the house and rubbing off on each other.”

“So he is pierced?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Like a Prince Albert?”

“No. I’m not sure what it’s called but it’s right under the head, on the underside.”

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