Page 28 of Best Served Cold

I waited as he tucked his phone away and gathered up his things. We walked out of the restaurant together, then parted ways in the parking lot to our respective vehicles.

My head spun with everything I’d learned tonight, and not just about River’s talent for art. He knew about what happened when I kissed his brother, and he didn’t care.

So why had he and Gray been so concerned about Zane before the dare? River obviously wasn’t homophobic if he had drawings of men getting their sexy on in his sketchbook.

Was Zane? That didn’t track either. He and Gray were close, and he’d talked about another friend of theirs named Nick who was also in a relationship with a man.

My heart sank as the truth hit like a pie to the face. Not painful, but definitely humiliating. Zane’s issues with me weren’t because I had a dick. They were because I was me.

All the lightness from hanging with River dissipated and was replaced by the familiar shroud of darkness that never fully went away.

Moving here was supposed to have been my chance at a fresh start. To finally have the life I wanted away from everything that had been dragging me down.

But what if my past wasn’t the issue? What if it really was me and it was only a matter of time before everyone saw what Zane did and I went back to being that lonely shell of a human that had been my existence for twenty-six years?

Sighing heavily, I started my truck and slammed it into drive, already dreading another long night of tossing and turning as my brain decided to torture me with a constant loop of dark thoughts and the highlights reel of every mistake I’d ever made.

5

ZANE

“We don’t have to go in.”

I glanced at my brother as we walked up to Mason’s front door. “Yeah we do. Better put in some face time so they don’t forget who we are.”

“You sure? We can go home and just chill or whatever.”

I’d been in a mood for the past few days, and my brother had noticed. Everything felt amplified and overstimulating. Sounds were louder and colors were brighter. Things I could usually shrug off or ignore cut deep, and I felt like I was constantly on the brink of snapping.

The smart thing would be to stay home and wait for this to pass so I didn’t lose my shit or do something I couldn’t take back, but fuck it. When did I ever do the smart thing?

I might not want to be here, but River did. My brother was an extrovert who needed to be around people. I could suck it up for a few hours so he could get his social battery recharged.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.”

He gave me a look that said he knew I was lying through my teeth but rang the bell anyway.

Mason’s grandparents had a huge house just outside of town that was surrounded by woods and completely isolated from any neighbors. They spent about half the year traveling, so when they were away Mason “watched” their house and used it as a party base.

The door swung open. “River!” Mason greeted with a big smile.

“Hey, man.” River did a complicated handshake with him. “How’s it going?”

“Can’t complain.” He nodded to me and stepped back. “Zane.”

“Hey.” I upnodded him as we walked in.

“You know the drill.” Mason waved around the foyer. “Anything goes on the main floor, use the downstairs bathrooms, or the woods, and stay the fuck away from the upstairs and the locked part of the basement.”

“Got it.”

“Mason!” a female voice shrieked.

He glanced over his shoulder. “Gotta go.” He winked at River and sauntered away.

“Drink?” River asked.

I nodded.