Page 19 of Close Quarters

“Dick,” Elliot muttered, and I swore I heard a twinge of hurt in his voice.

I glared at him. “Seriously? His best assessment for my ‘buddy’ is you? You and me? Because you and I have done so well together this past week, and even today.”

Elliot opened his mouth and then grunted. “Fine, he has a point. I’m avoiding being in trouble because I was ready to fight, remember?”

“All too well,” Leon said, opening his palms and showing them to us. “But those are your options and the only ones you’re getting. You either go into this and try to succeed or take your respective punishments. There are no alternatives.”

There was nothing like being put between a rock and a hard place. It occurred to me then that I was the only one really in a pinch. I doubted they would severely punish Elliot for trying to start a fight with me after he’d been provoked, where I had been unprovoked and gone after someone who’d been absolutely zero threat to me. My punishment was clearly worse. I would be back in prison for the rest of my sentence, while Elliot would probably get some form of work probationary period.

Elliot clicked his tongue. “He gets fucked harder than I do if we don’t do this, doesn’t he?”

I had really been hoping he wouldn’t figure it out, but the timing of his understanding was uncanny. Thankfully, Leon only gave him a neutral expression. “The punishments are not up for discussion as a group. If you want to go that route, then we’ll go that route. But this is a mutual decision.”

Great, so my fate was in Elliot’s hands? I could only imagine the sheer yearning to give the entire situation the middle finger and take his punishment. He’d get to stay here, and I’d be out of everyone’s hair. Leon had already placed the first roadblock in front of me.

Elliot gave a disgusted grunt, flopping back in his seat and eyeing me. “Can you do this?”

“Can you?” I shot back, clearly not learning any sense or caution, even knowing he was literally one-half of this choice and could decide it all with a simple no.

He rolled his eyes. “If he can make the effort to try, then I can too. I’m not going to anyone saying I wasn’t willing to try.”

Which meant the ball was now officially in my court, which surprised me. That was twice in fifteen minutes I thought my fate was in the hands of someone else and was already writing myself off. And that was now twice that that same fate holder turned around and surprised me with a gesture of trust and…kindness.

The thought just pissed me off further. I didn’t need Leon’s pity in helping me, and I didn’t need Elliot’s pity in trying to save me. We all had our issues, and there was no point pretending that wasn’t our main focus when it came down to it. It seemed incredibly hypocritical to pretend anything else.

But I could see Grandma T, her brow wrinkling in confusion and disappointment if she saw into my head right now. She had always wanted me to strive for better, and here I was, being given repeated chances. This was one final chance for me to try to make things better, and again, I was ready to throw it all back in the face of the people trying to help because I was pissed off and didn’t want their goddamn pity.

“Fine,” I said between gritted teeth. “What does that mean?”

Leon’s head tilted back in surprise and then looked at Mona. “Remind me to stop doubting you.”

“I’ll have to remind you again in a couple of weeks,” she said. “Prisoner’s Dilemma, though?”

Leon’s brow furrowed. “Didn’t think of the naming.”

“What the fuck is that?” I growled, irritated at the sudden, mysterious conversation.

“Put two people in separate rooms, accused of the same crime and given a choice. If they rat out the other person, they can go free and the other person does the time. If they rat each other out, they both do time, just less than the one person,” Elliot said, glaring at Leon. “That’s really fucking low, Leon.”

“You played us against each other,” I accused and then looked at Elliot, wrinkling my nose. “How the fuck did you know that?”

“I went through a philosophy obsession for like two months when I was behind bars,” he shrugged. “I’m allowed to know things.”

“I didn’t play anyone,” Leon said with a roll of his eyes.

“You kind of did,” Mona chuckled. “Call me right again.”

“Absolutely not,” Leon grunted. “I gave you both a perfectly fair opportunity to back out. I wanted you to take this option, and I can only hope you both stick with it.”

“Which is why you stacked the deck to get us to choose it,” Elliot grunted. “And look, we did what you wanted.”

“Fine, then be mad at me, but do it after you figure out whether or not this was a terrible idea,” Leon said with a roll of his eyes.

As irritated as I was, I had to admit we had both been neatly trapped. I didn’t know whether to call Leon a hypocrite for using underhanded methods for a good cause or to commend him for not being so noble he wasn’t willing to do what it took. Then again, people had been arguing about what version of doing good was the best kind for centuries and would probably continue doing it for as long as two human beings were left to argue about it.

For one shining moment, the thought actually exhausted me. I had been arguing and fighting with people most of my life, and I just…what did it count for? All it got me was a lifetime of misery. Sure, that misery had fueled the anger, but the anger just…that’s all it was, just a fueled fire that kept burning and burning. I’d probably burn out completely, ending up a husk or a bitter man who couldn’t find enjoyment in anything.

And shit, if Elliot was right, I was already almost there.

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