Page 14 of Alexander's Heart

“Owee, stop it huwts, Ow.” Alexa grumbles sleepily.

“Hey, Princess, Uncle Doc is here. You sure have a wicked battle mark here.”

“Hi, Uncwle Doc, yesh I’s have a piwate X mawks the spot, I’s being brave but it’s saw.”

“Yes, baby girl, it’s going to be sore for a little while, but I’m going to give you some more medicine, okay, Princess.”

“Yesh pwease, I’s not wike da pains.”

“I got you sweet girl, Uncle Doc will help it feel less painful.”

“Thank you, Doc, did you save my mommy?” Alexa asks with her lower lip wobbling.

“I did, Mommy is doing well, she just needs time to heal just like you and Pa do.”

Alexa reaches up and holds Doc’s face in her little hands, “Yoaw da best Uncwle Doc, I wuvs you.”

“And I love you baby girl, now let’s get you some more medicine so you can rest.”

Alexa lets Doc go and turns to me, “I’s so happy Daddy, Mommy is going to be okay, can I see Mommy before I’s have da medichin? It makes me sweepy.”

I look at Doc who is drawing up her morphine and he nods.

This time it’s me who takes Alexa’s face in my big hands, “Yes, let’s go see Mommy, but you need to understand that Mommy is badly hurt and looks very different, there is a lot of machines surrounding her, okay.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Alexa nods enthusiastically.

“Mommy will get better and slowly come off the machines, but for now it will look a little scary.”

“Okay, wet’s go. I needs to see my mommy and tewws her I’s wuv her.”

Alexa grabs the picture she drew of her and Lily riding the carousel in Central Park, and I gently lift her up and we go next door to see Lily. Alexa’s gasp as we enter the suite has my heart constricting, tears start trickling down her emotion filled face and all I want to do is take her pain away. We walk up to Lily’s side and Alexa wriggles to get down.

“Can I sit beside Mommy?”

Doc is the one to speak this time, “Yes, you can, Princess, but you have to be very gentle and you can’t touch Mommy’s chest or tummy area, okay.”

“Okay, I’s just gives hew a kiss.”

I lower Alexa to sit next to Lily on the bed and she gently moves in to give her kisses and stroke her hair.

‘I wuvs you so, so much, Mommy, Doc will fix you up. I’s heaw with you, and I’s drawed you a pictuaw of us on da hawsey’s to makes you feel bettaw. I wiww visit wif you as much as I can. I wuvs you muchwy.’

My sweet girl, is being so brave and we can all feel the love emanating from deep within her soul. My girl wears her heart on her sleeve and I never want that to change, it’s a beautiful quality to have.

‘I’s got huwt and so did Pa, but we be okay, we awe heawing and we wiww aww be bettaw soon. I wuvs you so, so much, to da moon and back.’

Alexa leans back and turns to me and I pick her up and carry her out of Lily’s room and back to her bed, Doc insert the morphine into her bung and gives Alexa the pain relief she needs, and as I’m tucking her into bed again, she whispers, “Mommy wiww be okay Daddy, Uncwle Doc wiww makes hew aww bettaw.”

“I know, Princess, it’s just going to take some time before we can wake Mommy up, each day she will be stronger and soon we can all be together again.”

As Alexa is drifting off to sleep, she whispers, “I knows, Daddy, I wuvs you to da moon and back.”

I brush her curls out of her face and whisper, “And, I love you to the moon and back, Princess.”

Doc is assessing Davies, when I turn around and I can see the pain written across his face, just like me earlier, it is not easy seeing your strong mentor in this state, it’s a harsh reminder that we are not invincible and we need to enjoy this life because it’s not always guaranteed.

I will be making changes, I can’t keep going on Tier 1 missions, it’s not fair on Alexa or Lily, especially with a long recovery ahead and growing my babies at the same time. I’m needed here with my family, and JSOC will just have to understand or use another team. Our team can still run missions with me coordinating State side, but I will be making these changes, it just might take a little time to implement fully.

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