Page 35 of A Wedding in a Week

He cackles again as I give up on my wardrobe. “I’m just saying that manscaping is important for everyone north of the Cornish border. You know, just in case your cock ends up on the menu tonight?” He quickly backtracks. “Christ, there’s a visual I never wanted.”

“Then we’re quits. I don’t want to picture the nitty gritty of your next date with Destiny either.”

“No. I don’t want that for you either. You wouldn’t like it one bit.” Lukas quiets again before saying, “I am glad you found somebody though. They better be good.”

My conscience pangs. “Listen, it’s—”

Lukas speaks over my confession. “Just tell me Marc isn’t falling for someone who isn’t good for him while you’re distracted.”

That’s easier to confirm. “He isn’t.” I hope Marc’s actually falling for me. Again. “And I’m not distracted.” I’ve never been more focussed. “I’m certain he’s in safe hands. The safest.”

“This time.” Lukas shifts his focus to me. “Okay. Dating tips for you then. Strong and silent isn’t going to cut it. Try being a bit chattier, only don’t act too desperate. Be a gentleman. Open doors for him.”

He’s too late again. Marc’s already opened so many doors for me. Would I have made half as many wedding venue contacts without him to open those conversations?

“And pull his chair out for him, Stef. No, wait. Better not overtax your arm, or come on too strong. Don’t want him thinking you’ve got no chill.”

He’s too late again. When it comes to Marc, the no-chill ship’s already sailed with me aboard.

Aboard?

I’m its fucking captain. All I can do is try to avoid rocks like the ones Lukas next mentions. “Speaking of Marc, is he still in touch with that dating app guy?”

My reflection in the wardrobe mirror shows a six-foot startled rabbit caught in headlights, because no matter what all the evidence points to, I have to admit this truth. “I… I’m not sure.”

“Okay.” Lukas blows out a sharp breath. “Keep a close eye on him for me like you promised, yeah? And go look in the chest of drawers in my room.”

“Why would I look in your drawers?”

“So you can borrow something to wear that isn’t beige, you numpty. Show your date that you’ve made an extra effort tonight.”

That’s not a bad idea. I let myself into his room, opening a drawer full of clothes he’s left here. “What am I looking for exactly? Hang on, let’s video call and you can show me.”

“No,” Lukas is breathless in my ear. “I can’t. I’m—”

“At the gym?” Background beeps suggest so. I try to turn off my internal alarm before it gets started. Moderate exercise is good for him. He’s told me that a hundred times already. “Or are you lifting weights, trying to bulk up for your second date? Too late, mate. I hope Destiny likes her men weedy.”

Lukas is breathless again, only with laughter. “How about you stop biting the hand that’s trying to feed you? Go ahead and try the black jeans in the middle drawer. Mum bought them for me but they’re too big. She must have forgotten we don’t all eat your Desperate Dan cow-pie portions. Oh, and there’s a shirt hanging in the wardrobe that I bought last summer at Boardmasters when I sunburnt my shoulders. I’m pretty sure it’ll be loose enough to fit you. I wore it unbuttoned on the beach. Wear it tonight.”

“Unbuttoned?”

Lukas laughs, but it isn’t his usual pixie cackle. It’s softer—much, much softer. “How about you save any unbuttoning for after you’ve wined and dined whoever the unlucky guy is. Shit.”

“What?”

“You won’t be able to wine and dine him if you’re still taking pain meds.”

I’m not but he continues regardless.

“You’ll have to switch to plan B.”

“Which is?”

“Relying on your personality to wow him.”

“Fuck off. I can hold my own.”

“Aren’t you sick of that though, Stef? Having to hold your own?”

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