Page 21 of Fractured Devotion

She gave a half-hearted shrug, the weight of the night clinging to her. “Andrei left after—” Her words trailed off as she closed her eyes, a brief shudder passing through her. “I just needed to get out of that room. But I can leave if this is a mistake.”

“No. It’s not a mistake. Come on, I’ll get you a towel.” My voice was steadier than I felt, suppressing the tumult of emotions that her proximity stirred. Carmela followed me through the sitting room and into my bedroom. Stopping at the door, I waved her through. “Help yourself to whatever you need. I’ll grab you a towel and something to change into.”

As she turned, there was an attempt at gratitude on her face, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thank you.” Her voice was a whisper of her usual strength, making me wonder what had happened between our encounter in the elevator and now.

The distance between us felt like a chasm, but I closed it with a touch, my hand cradling her cheek softly.

“You never need to thank me, Carmela. Just having you here—safe and breathing—is enough.” With a reluctant step back, I let her find comfort in the shower’s solitude while I rummaged for something comfortable she could change into.

Whatever had happened tonight with Andrei obviously left her feeling vulnerable. I found myself dreading the truth, unsure if I could bear the full weight of her pain. Towel and t-shirt in hand, I knocked lightly on the bathroom door. Silence. I nudged the door open and peered inside, only to have my heart splinter at the sight.

Carmela was curled up on the shower floor, her posture small, knees hugged tight. The tremor in her frame, the silent sobs that racked her body—it was a picture of raw anguish. Without a second thought, I shed my clothes down to my boxers.

Kneeling on the cool tiles, I pulled her gently into my lap, wrapping her in my warmth. “I got you, baby,” I murmured.

Her cries cut through me. How had this fierce woman been brought so low? The thought of Andrei’s hand in this was a dark cloud over us—even though I knew it was a necessary evil in her mind. She’d been dancing dangerously close to the fire with him, and now I feared she’d been burned. The vulnerability she showed was raw and unlike the Carmela I’d seen in the elevator. It had to be him.

“Carmela, honey…” My voice was rough with barely contained rage as I spoke into her hair. “Did he hurt you?” The question was laden with the promise of action if she answered the way I feared. I’d sacrifice my own life if it meant freeing her from this twisted dance she was doing. Whatever game she’d been caught in, it had obviously taken a turn tonight, and I needed to know how far it had gone. How far he pushed her.

“I hurt myself.” The admission fell heavily between us. Her voice was muffled against my chest, her tears beginning to ebb as she sought refuge in my embrace. Her lips brushed against my skin, sending a shockwave through me, a stark contrast to the cold dread that had filled me moments before.

My response was instinctive. I gently pressed my lips to her hair, silently reassuring her. “What do you mean, baby? How did you hurt yourself?” The worry in my voice was barely contained. The need to understand, to fix whatever was broken, was pressing.

She moved then, deliberate action to meet my gaze, her eyes searching mine for something I couldn’t quite fathom.

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” Her question was heavy, loaded with facts that might be difficult to bear.

But I needed to know, to understand—whatever her pain, it was mine to share now. I wouldn’t let her carry it alone ever again. Affirmation was necessary, not just for her but for me as well. The vow I had made to her, to us, was not conditional.

“Yes. When I said nothing would change how I feel about you, I meant it, Carmela.” Closing my eyes, I gathered the strength needed to face whatever confessions she had. The intake of breath was my way of bracing for the impact I knew her words might have. “I might not like what I hear, but I have to believe you love me. And anything that happens with Andrei is part of the game and nothing more.”

She held my gaze, the deep chocolate of her eyes burning into my own, as she seemed to be searching for truth in my words. When she seemed to have found what she was looking for, she dipped her chin and sighed. Her next words were laden with the weight of what she was feeling.

“Usually when I let him use me… I feel nothing, but tonight… for the first time in months, what I was doing made me feel dirty. I wanted to end his life with each punishing touch he gave me.”

Her skin bore the evidence of depravity from the night, a harsh reality inscribed in angry red against her usually flawless skin. My fingers traced the mark gently, a silent question asked through the touch. “Did he do this to you?”

“Yes. And I let him. I let him degrade me as if I was some weak woman. And normally, it doesn’t affect me because I know it’s part of the fucked-up game I’m playing. But tonight, while he was taking what he thinks belongs to him… all I could think about was you. How I was dirtying myself up more and more, how I was turning myself into something unworthy of you.”

I needed to know, even though the thought nearly sent me into a psychotic rage. “Is he putting you at risk?”

“That’s the only thing I can thank Andrei Sloski for—his diligence in using condoms. His abhorrence of children is my only saving grace. But, Alex,”—she shifted her body so she could straddle my lap—“I’m letting another man use me when I belong to you. How can you look at me and not be repulsed?”

My grip on her was both tender and firm, my fingers woven into her hair with purpose. I gently tilted her face up, ensuring there was no escape from the intensity of my gaze.

“When I look at you, I see a woman who has done whatever it takes to come home to me. I see a fierce warrior, one who doesn’t back down from things that would make anyone else tremble. But most of all,”—my thumb swept across her cheek, an affectionate stroke meant to soothe as much as to affirm—“when I look at you, I see forever.”

My mouth covered hers with an intensity that was meant to be a declaration. A collision of lips spoke of battlefields endured and the fierce love that had survived the onslaught of malice. It was a promise and a claim, a vow that whatever evils sought to break us, this love, our bond, would endure, unyielding and everlasting. I’d lost her once, and fuck if I was going to lose her again—even if it was to her own demons. Her darkness was my darkness, and I was not going to give in and crumble due to the depravity of what she’d done to survive.

Shifting her so I could stand, I pushed us off the tile floor. Carmela’s legs naturally wrapped around my waist as I hauled her out of the glass enclosure. If she didn’t believe my words, she’d have no doubt how I felt after I worshiped her body the way I should have earlier.

I dropped her soaked body onto the bed and stepped back. Shoving my boxers off, I moved to the edge of the bed and gripped her ankles in my hands. Pulling her to the edge of the bed, I dropped to my knees on the carpeted floor.

“Andrei may use your body, but I’m going to worship it. I’m going to erase his touch from your memory, leaving my imprint on your soul. When I’m done tonight, Carmela, you’ll know exactly how I feel about you. You’ll know exactly who you belong to.”

I shoved her thighs apart and buried my face between her legs. My tongue licked the entire length of her slit, feasting on the tender flesh that belonged to me.

“Tell me, baby. When he uses your body, does it feel like this?”

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