Page 90 of Ride a Cowboy

Oakley had obviously considered what this would be like, and he was ready to take advantage of the opportunity. His best friend wasn’t a passive lover. Joel had discovered that the other night. He may let Joel take the lead in most things, but when he really wanted something, Oakley took it.

Right now, Oakley wanted him. His hands reached out to grip Joel’s upper arms tightly. He held him close, allowing no retreat. Not that Joel had plans to go anywhere.

There had been no slow start. They’d gone in with mouths open, devouring, claiming, taking everything and then demanding more.

Joel felt no need to be gentle with Oakley. Instead, he longed for a roughness he didn’t dare show to Sadie. She was soft, sweet and, despite her penchant for pain, he held himself in check. He’d rather rip off his arm than hurt her.

The same didn’t hold true for Oakley. Not that he didn’t care about his friend—he loved him. But because Joel wanted to feel this. Really fucking feel it.

Oakley got it. He bit Joel’s lower lip, the sting, followed by the bitter taste of blood, driving Joel out of his mind. He gripped Oakley’s hair and pulled it, hard enough to provoke a pained groan. The sound was almost enough to make Joel stop. Until Oakley gave as good as he got—digging his fingers into Joel’s scalp.

The pain morphed into a pleasure so intense, Joel feared he’d come right there. Oakley hadn’t touched his cock, his hands weren’t even near his dick, and yet, Joel was on the precipice of blowing. Hard.

The realization shook him.

He shoved Oakley away, then rose from the bed. His harsh breathing loud in the quiet room. What the fuck was he doing?

“That can’t happen again.” The words fell out before Joel could think about them.

“The hell it can’t.” Oakley looked just as wiped out, overwhelmed. Shattered.

Joel shook his head. Every molecule in his body was telling him to leave, but his feet were sunk in some imaginary quicksand. Something was holding him there. If he left right now, it would be the biggest mistake of his life.

But staying here was a mistake too.

“I’m sorry.”

It was the first time Sadie had spoken since her dare. But Joel hadn’t forgotten her presence. Not for a single second. And he knew Oakley hadn’t either.

He’d felt her eyes on them as they’d kissed, her arousal wrapping around them, driving them higher.

Oakley reached over and ran a gentle hand through her hair. “What are you apologizing for?”

Sadie didn’t look at Oakley. She never took her eyes off Joel. He couldn’t stand the fear, the sadness in her eyes. This sure as hell wasn’t her fault. Knowing Sadie, she’d thought this dare—this entire game—would help move along something that was inevitable. And it had.

“Not your fault, Sade,” Joel said.

She gave him an expectant look. Clearly she hadn’t given up hope that he’d accept what had happened.

He couldn’t.

“I’m straight.” It was probably the dumbest thing he’d ever said in his life, but for some reason, Joel felt as if he had to keep saying it. More for himself than for them.

Oakley snorted, shaking his head and closing his eyes. Joel could almost hear the cursing dialogue running through his best friend’s mind. Then, as always, Oakley found a place to put the anger. It was a skill Joel envied.

When his eyelids lifted, he captured Joel’s gaze, giving him a smile and a shrug. “It’s okay, man. We tried it. You didn’t like it. No harm, no foul.”

Oakley’s words were a gift. He was letting Joel off the hook, pretending to buy into a big-ass lie.

Because they’d tried it and Joel had—to quote Oakley—fucking loved it.

If he’d been a better man, he would have admitted that. Given something back to his best friend. But in his mind, he pictured the faces of his mother, his teammates, Coach. How would they react if he came out? If he told them that not only was he in love with Sadie Milligan, he was head over heels for his best friend too?

He’d lived his entire life walking the straight and narrow, never rocking the boat. He couldn’t see a way to stop doing that now.

So he greedily took the escape. He smiled and nodded, tried to play it cool. Truth was, he couldn’t have spoken if his life depended on it. His throat was constricted, completely closed, the words trapped behind the steel door.

“Besides,” Oakley said, “you can’t fucking kiss worth a damn. Can’t hold a candle to our sweet Sadie’s kisses.”

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