Page 179 of Ride a Cowboy

Dr. Spencer had called this morning with the results of his tests and the brain imaging. Vivi was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. While Sienna had suspected the problem for months, there was a big difference between thinking something and learning it for sure. According to Dr. Spencer, Vivi’s memory was failing unusually fast.

Sienna, Hope, Sterling and Jade had all accompanied her to the appointment last week, as they’d promised. They’d also kept the checkup a secret from their parents at Vivi’s request. Her grandmother refused to cause her boys any worry until they knew something for sure.

Well, now they knew. As soon as she heard the words, Sienna called the other girls. The Mothers had gone shopping this morning. Sienna wished her mom were here right now. She’d know exactly what to say, how to make it all better. Sienna had even suggested calling Jody, but Vivi said no. At this moment, there was quite simply nothing she wouldn’t give her grandmother.

“Well. I guess that’s it.” Vivi’s voice was surprisingly strong, laced with her matter-of-fact tone.

“We should call my mom,” Hope chimed in. “Maybe there are some other tests they can run. Dr. Spencer could be wrong.”

Vivi smiled kindly at Hope. “No, darlin’, he’s not wrong.”

“We should still call my mom,” Hope insisted.

Sienna suspected Hope’s face reflected her own. Surely someone could offer them some bit of hope, and failing that, they just needed comfort. Aunt Lucy’s hugs were the best when it came to consoling them when they’d been younger. Her aunt had always known the way to soothe away the pain of a skinned knee or headache. Maybe Lucy would have an answer for this too.

Vivi clasped her hands, allowing her gaze to slowly travel around the room from face to face. It almost felt as if their grandmother was memorizing their eyes, their names, them. “I’m going to ask you to keep my secret a little bit longer.”

Jade shook her head. “No. No, Vivi. We can’t do that.”

“I’m a selfish old woman and I have no right to ask this of you, but I’m still going to. I lost my JD over twenty years ago. I may be struggling with names and forgetting recipes, God knows I’m repeating myself and driving everyone batty, but I remember the year JD died like it happened yesterday.”

Sienna sniffled, fighting hard not to cry. She wasn’t going to fall apart. If her other cousins could sit here and be strong for Vivi, she would too.

“His cancer robbed him of his freedom, but worse than that, it took away his pride. He had to rely on his sons’ strength to carry him, to carry this ranch. They did it without fail, without question. There wasn’t anything they wouldn’t do for their daddy. I can’t ask them to do that for me. They’ve done that once. Watched a parent wither away. So I’m asking you. You girls have been my blessing and my strength. My pride won’t let me grow weaker in my sons’ eyes, not yet. That’s something I need time to gear up to.”

Hope swiped at her eyes. “Vivi. We’ll always take care of you.”

Vivi smiled. “I appreciate that. I have some things I need to figure out, things to put into place before we spring this on the family. I just need more time.”

“What sort of things?” Jade wouldn’t give in easily. Sienna knew that. So did Vivi.

“I think you understand what I’m saying, Jade.” Vivi’s gaze never left Jade’s face, the two of them sharing some unspoken secret.

Jade shook her head. “No. You’re fine here. This is your home.”

“What are you talking about?” Sterling asked.

Jade rose, anger pouring from her. “Vivi’s going to try to find a nursing home, somewhere she can tuck herself away so she won’t be a burden on us. That’s bullshit! We’re not doing that.”

“I won’t even recognize where I am. Besides I’m not proposing I move there tomorrow. I’m just going to look around, figure out my options. There are lots of nice places I can go and a few of them are quite close to here.”

Jade shook her head violently. Before she turned away, Sienna caught a glimpse of the sheen of tears in her too-tough cousin’s eyes.

It was Sienna’s undoing. “I’m a nurse, Vivi. I can take care of you. When the time comes, I’ll take a leave of absence from work if need be. I can be here, night and day. Please let me do that for you.”

Vivi’s face hardened. “No. Absolutely not. Do you think I would wish that on any of you? I won’t remember you. I’ll stare through you like you never existed. I’ll roam the house at night, keeping you up all hours. You’ll have to lock down everything for fear I’ll take medicine I’m not supposed to or, God forbid, pick up a knife to chop something. I could unintentionally harm you or your brothers, Sienna. Little Doug.” Her grandmother’s voice broke on his name. “I won’t let his last memories of me be this.”

Vivi took a deep breath. When she spoke again, the strength and determination had returned. “There are places where people are trained to take care of folks in my condition. I’m going to stay in one of those. My mind is made up on that and it won’t be swayed.”

Sienna recognized the stubborn glint in her grandmother’s eyes. She’d seen it far too many times over the years. “You knew,” Sienna whispered. “You knew this was coming.”

Vivi nodded. “I’ve suspected it for a while. Yes.”

Sienna wanted to be angry with her grandmother for hiding her suspicions, her fears. But then, Sienna had had the same worries and she hadn’t spoken them aloud either.

“I’ll help you find a place to stay,” Sterling offered.

Jade shot Sterling a look of pure rage, one that suggested her cousin had stabbed them all in the back.

---