Page 146 of Ride a Cowboy

She suspected he was feeling the same strain she was. After all, Josh—despite growing up in ranch country—was not fond enough of horses to brave the cold just for fun. Time to bite the bullet.

“Josh?”

It was quiet for a moment before she heard him say, “Over here, See.”

She followed the sound of his voice and found him sitting on a bale of hay, his back against the stable wall. He looked tired.

“What’s up?” she asked.

He patted the hay bale next to his. She sank down, her heart aching as she realized just how badly the next few minutes were going to suck. She’d been so wrapped up in all the things she wanted to say to him, practicing her speech for days, that it never occurred to her that Josh might be as unhappy as she had been lately.

“Listen, Josh?—”

“No. Wait, Sienna. I have something I need to say and I’d just like to get it out, so let me go first, okay?”

She nodded.

“I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately.”

She started to brush off his words, even though they were true. Josh waved her denial away. “Don’t. Don’t pretend like I haven’t hurt you. I have.”

“I wish I knew what was going on inside your head, Josh. We always used to be on the same page. I never had to work so hard to figure you out.”

He chuckled, the sound holding no mirth. “I wish the same thing. I feel like I’m floundering around these days, constantly trying to find a way to make you and my parents happy while deciding what to do. Unfortunately, I’m failing at everything—school, life, you.”

“It’s okay. You just need?—”

“I need a break.”

Sienna paused. “A break? From what? School?”

He shook his head. Realization dawned hard.

“Me?” she asked.

“Sienna. I’ve loved you since I was fifteen years old. We grew up together, always as a couple. I have no idea what it means to be my own man.”

She’d known what was coming the moment she entered the stable. So why was it so hard now that he was saying the words she’d anticipated? The words she’d even planned to say herself? The stubborn part of her—the part with no sense—reared up. “I don’t understand. I’ve been with you for seven years too. I know who I am.”

“Do you?”

Such a simple question. Two words. And yet they set Sienna’s world on end.

Did she?

Daniel would say no. Hell, he’d only been on the ranch a week the first time he’d called her out for her fears. Seen right through her.

“So you’re breaking up with me?”

Josh shook his head. “No. God no. I don’t want to lose you. I just think we need a break. A few months to find out who we are without each other.”

She frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I plan to spend my whole life with you. I swear that hasn’t changed for me. We’re going to be happy, I’m sure of that. But I’ll always wonder what else there was. What if there’s an experience I miss because I never had a chance to look around?”

Sienna’s sadness gave way to annoyance. She’d put her life on hold for Josh. Made excuses for him, defended him to her family and friends when they said he was being irresponsible. She felt like she was stuck in a game of Freeze. Josh had yelled the word and she’d stopped in place, not moving a muscle while he ran around and did whatever he pleased. It rubbed against the grain. “Spell it out for me, Josh. What exactly are you asking for?”

“To be free. To take a break from having a girlfriend for a little while.”

---