Page 119 of Ride a Cowboy

“She didn’t feel the same way about me. To be honest, she hung in there longer than I thought she would. But I’m pretty sure that was for you. Not me. Your mother was a free spirit and she was never meant to settle down and be anyone’s mom...or wife.”

“So she left.”

Her dad nodded sadly. “Yeah.”

His story had only proven her point. “Don’t you see some similarities there, Dad?”

His expression grew thunderous, but a lifetime with this man had numbed her to his grumpiness. “No. I don’t see one damn thing of your mother in you, besides her pretty eyes.”

She had her mother’s eyes? Sadie had a couple of pictures of her mom, but she hadn’t looked at them in well over two decades.

“What I do see,” her father continued, “is too fucking much of me.”

“You make that sound like a bad thing?” She adored her dad and was proud that he actually thought they were alike. He was a badass who didn’t take crap from anybody. He was his own man. She respected the hell out of that.

“In this instance, it is.”

Sadie felt the need to make it clear to him how wrong he was. “You, of all people, should understand this. I’m a bad bet. I suck at commitment. I don’t want to hurt Joel and Oakley.”

Dad shook his head. “No. You got it backwards. You aren’t running because you’re afraid you’ll hurt them. You’re running because you’re afraid they’ll hurt you.”

She sat frozen, her body suddenly cold as ice, her mind numb.

Her father stood up and walked around to stand in front of her, leaning on the desk. “I tried to raise you to be independent, Sadie. I wanted you to be strong enough to handle all the shit life was gonna throw your way. Guess I taught you the best way to do all that was to never let anyone close. Good intentions. Bad lesson.”

She grinned and stood up. Stepping closer, her dad was there, arms open to embrace her. “You raised me just fine. My problem is I’m a bum magnet.”

“No, you’re not. There were plenty of decent guys asking you out. You turned down the good ones because it kept you safe.”

Sadie couldn’t refute his words. She’d run through a long line of assholes, men who never had a snowball’s chance in hell of hurting her because she would never love them.

Her plan had fallen apart when she’d embarked on the affair with Joel and Oakley. She’d strayed from losers and accepted the advances of two really great guys. Her safety net had been the threesome. And it had failed her. Because it worked.

Then she’d held Jane in her arms and though it killed her to admit it, she realized how much she loved holding that tiny little life in her arms. It had started some yearnings that terrified her. She didn’t know the first thing about being a mom. The only thing she knew for sure was that she’d cut out her own heart rather than hurt a child the way her mother had hurt her.

“What do I do now?”

Her dad gripped her upper arms, holding her back so that he could see her face. “You really love those two men?”

She nodded.

He closed his eyes and blew out a long breath. There was no denying her father was not a fan of what her heart had chosen. However, he was her dad. And he was going to support her decision, going to defend her against anyone who dared to question it. He was going to have her back…just like he always did.

“Fine.”

She stood up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t worry so much. There’s a pretty good chance I’ve already done irreparable damage to the relationship.”

“No. If they really love you, it’s gonna work out just fine.” Then Dad cracked his knuckles. “But if it is over, it’s still a win because I’ll be free to pound their asses into the ground.”

Sadie laughed. “I might keep that as my ace in the hole if they turn me down.”

She meant her words as a joke, but her dad didn’t laugh. “You can’t tie someone to you who doesn’t want to be there. If it doesn’t work out, you stop picking up jackasses and go out with some nice guys. One at a time. I’ll make you a list.”

“Deal.”

“And I should warn you, I’m taking my own advice outta this room.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

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