Page 118 of Ride a Cowboy

“And they both knew you were dating the other guy at the same time?”

“I don’t mean separately. I mean the three of us are together.”

Her father scowled. “What? Like one of those ménage a trois things?”

She nodded, struggling not to giggle. It was the absolute worst thing she could do, but she always found humor in things that were not funny. Talking to her dad about a ménage a trois struck her as absurdly comical.

“I’m going to fucking kill those bastards.”

Sadie stepped in front of the door, blocking his exit. “No. You’re not.”

“And why wouldn’t I?”

Sadie licked her lips nervously. Then she said what she should have said to Oakley and Joel. “Because I’m in love with them too.”

Her dad’s arms fell to his sides, and then he raised his hands, almost beseechingly. “You can’t be in love with two guys at the same time, Sade. That’s not how the world works.”

“I know,” she said, hating the way her voice cracked. “Which is what I was saying before. I can’t seem to conform, to do what’s expected. I do what feels good, I have a strong disregard for authority, and I struggle with commitment. Sound like anyone familiar?”

Dad shrugged. “Yeah. Me.”

She rolled her eyes. “No, Dad. Her. I’m like Mom.”

“Jesus, Sadie. You’re the polar opposite of your mother.”

Sadie didn’t agree, but wasn’t sure how to plead her case without reopening a wound. She had been very young when her mother left. So young that her absence became a way of life before she was old enough to ask why she wasn’t there. Why had her mom walked out on them?

Her dad sighed when the silence lasted too long. He pointed to a chair. “Sit down, Sadie.” His tone proved exactly how uncomfortable he felt. The fact that he was still here, still trying to talk it out, made her love her dad more than ever.

He was a man of few words, most of them gruff or foul and never anything that touched on feelings.

She took the seat closest to the door should he decide to make good on his threat to do bodily harm to Joel and Oakley.

Dad crossed behind the desk and claimed the larger chair, placing his arms on the smooth surface. He clasped them together tightly, betraying his nervousness. It was odd to see her father like this.

“How much do you want to know?” he asked.

Considering he’d never said one word about her mother—short of the brief conversation they’d had when Sadie returned home from first grade and her dad had simply said, “Your mom had to leave town. It’s just you and me from now on. Okay?”—she figured they were starting at zero.

Back then, Sadie had just said, “Okay,” and held on to every single one of the million and twelve questions she had.

She couldn’t do that anymore. “All of it.”

He grimaced. “Some of it might be hard to hear.”

After so many years of silence, she’d take anything. Not knowing was way more painful. She knew that for sure. “I don’t care.”

“Met your mom here at the bar. She was passing through Maris on her way to Arizona. One thing led to another and we sort of hooked up. She took off the next morning and I didn’t really think about her again until she showed up three months later. Pregnant.”

Sadie fought to keep her face impassive for fear her dad would stop talking. Once again, she felt the overwhelming desire to giggle. She was the product of a one-night stand. Figured.

When she didn’t say anything, her dad forged on. “I told her I’d do the right thing by her, so we got married. I tried to make it work, Sadie. For you. And…for me. Saw you being born in that delivery room and I fell in love with your mom—right then and there. Never saw anything so incredible in my whole life.”

Sadie smiled. “You always told me I came out screaming my head off and the racket gave you a headache.”

Dad chuckled. “Yeah. That part was true too.”

His face sobered up and Sadie recognized the look in his eyes. Knew instinctively what it was because she’d seen it in her own this morning. Pain.

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