Page 55 of The Lie Maker

“It’s not a novel,” I said, immediately regretting it. I was only inviting more questions.

“Not a novel? So what, then?”

“Why are you here, Earl?”

“I wanted to... the other day, I’m not proud of myself, how I handled that. Leaning on you for a loan. That’s what I wanted to say.”

“You mean, like, you’re sorry?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I’m sorry.”

I was still standing and had not invited him to take a seat. As if he’d noticed, he said, “Mind if I take a seat?”

I supposed it was only fair to let him sit down while he had his beer. I pointed to my cheap couch, and he dropped onto it, but I stayed on my feet, looking down at him.

“I got rid of the Porsche,” he said.

“I noticed.”

“That’s a rental. One of those rent-a-wreck places.”

Did he want me to express some sympathy? At least no one had set fire to it.

“As I kind of mentioned, I’ve got a negative cash flow situation at the moment and I’ve had to make some adjustments.”

“Like I already told you, I don’t have any money, Earl.”

Which wasn’t, strictly speaking, as true as it had been at our last encounter. Gwen had paid me for eight days’ work, which meant a cool eight grand in my account. But even if I gave it all to Earl, it wouldn’t be enough to solve his financial difficulties.

“That’s not why I’m here,” he said. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About you, and your mom, and the situation I came into when we got married.”

I didn’t know why he would be focused on this now, after all these years, but I supposed he would tell me.

“The time I had with your mother was special, you know, and yeah, it had its ups and downs.”

“She wanted stability when she married you,” I said. “She didn’t get it.”

“I was always true to your mother. I never strayed.”

“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about all your get-rich-quick schemes. Every day she wondered what crazy thing you were going to do next.”

Earl sighed. “Yeah, but at least I never killed anybody.”

Mom had decided not to hide her past from Earl. She’d figured that if she didn’t tell him, one day I’d blurt it out. Which I would have.

“That’s not setting the bar very high,” I said.

He nodded, acknowledging my point. “The thing is, it always felt like your father was there, with us, in that marriage. I always felt this presence. It was hard for me at times. Because I got this sense that there was part of her that still loved him. She believed that in his heart, he was a good man, despite the bad things he’d done.”

I had no idea why he was telling me this but figured maybe it was going to take a while, so I took a seat.

“I always expected he was going to come walking through the door. One day, he’d return, figuring, what the hell, I’ll take my chances, I’m leaving the relocation program. And then what would Rose do? Would she dump me and take up with him again? Or would that be too risky? Or would his reappearance put us all at risk? I asked myself those questions every day.”

He took a sip from the can. “I think sometimes she regretted her decision. She’d get very... melancholy. I really believe there were times when she wished the two of you had gone with him. Was he a good father to you?”

Without hesitation, I said, “Yes.”

Earl’s face fell. “I knew I could never replace him. But I gave it my best shot.”

---