Page 96 of Summer After Summer

“Okay.”

“I should have, and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

I expel a breath, tasting tonic, my cheeks red with it. “Why are we in such a hurry?”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know, Fred. I’m just asking questions.”

His eyes darken. “Your own or other people’s?”

“That’s not fair. I can think of problems all by myself.”

Fred laughs, but it’s bitter.

“William said we should live together. To make sure.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You just did.”

“No, I—”

“You don’t want to get married.”

I touch his hand. It’s cold. “I only said maybe we should wait. Take some time to figure this out.”

His head droops. “So, what, we just call the engagement off?”

“No, I don’t want that.”

“It sounds like you do.”

“Why does it have to be so black and white?”

“Because I asked you to marry me. It was a yes-or-no question, and you said yes.”

“I meant it. I do want to marry you. Just not …”

“Not now.”

“Not like this. Not only because you’re scared of losing me.”

The words surprise me as I say them, but it’s true.

Fred wasn’t going to propose until I told him I was leaving on tour. We hadn’t even talked about the fall, what it would look like. And we’d both been okay with that.

So what had changed?

“That’s not why—”

“Isn’t it?” I put my hand on his chin and turn his face toward mine. His eyes are almost black, his face in shadow. The opposite of when he proposed to me. “Fred?”

“I bought that ring weeks ago. I was only waiting for the right time to ask you.”

“Oh.” I sit back and try to catch my breath.

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