Page 182 of Summer After Summer

“A few dinners. I like her.”

“Hedging your bets?”

He takes my hands and pulls me to him. “No. I think I was protecting myself in case you rejected me. But I was lying to myself. From the minute I saw you again at your sister’s house, I knew it was you or no one.”

My knees feel weak. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I tried to, but—”

“I told you to shove it.”

“Pretty much.”

“We always get in our own way.”

“We do. Which is why I think my plan to move in is the right one. If we commit, actually commit, then we’ll have to work it out.”

“I see.”

He looks nervous. “Bad idea?”

I pull his hand to my chest so he can feel my beating heart. “When can you move in?”

EPILOGUE

June 2024

By some miracle, our plan works.

Fred moves in and we make the house ours instead of his or mine or my family’s.

I learn what Fred is like in the fall—he looks amazing in sweaters.

I learn what Fred is like in winter—like a kid at Christmas, and on Christmas itself, happy in fleece pajamas unwrapping present after present because we’ve decided to make up for all the Christmases we missed together.

And I learn what Fred is like in spring—a little melancholy from the lack of sun and spontaneous, whisking us away to a sunny weekend so he can lie on the beach and smile; and then, after we get back, so happy to see the world turning green, the flowers pushing through the ground, that he picks me up and spins me around and around.

I love all of the Freds, but I love my summer Fred most of all.

I offer to let my dad live with us, but he prefers to go to the retirement community. He’s made some friends there, and there’s maybe even a woman, though he’s shy about admitting it. Maybe Aunt Tracy will get it out of him when she comes to visit this summer.

I make the same offer to Charlotte, but she’s happy with her cottage, and there’s a man in her life too. A friend of James’s that she meets at the winery when we all gather there for a Friendsgiving dinner. His name is Ben, and he’s a bit quirky, but it seems to suit Charlotte. I would’ve guessed she’d never introduce another partner to us again after what happened with Ann, but I’m glad to see I’m wrong.

Sophie and Colin are still house hunting, but I think that’s on purpose. They enjoy the fights, the battles. It’s what keeps it fresh between them. Or so she says, anyway. Who am I to judge? Colin’s happily working for Fred, and Sophie’s on the board of her kid’s school, busy and excited to come out to the house on the weekends and let the boys run around the lawn for hours on end. We’ve grown closer this year, and I’m happy about that.

In the end, we don’t call the police on Ann and Wes. I just file the paperwork to end the marriage I never should have agreed to, and we exchange documents through lawyers. He’s never reached out, never tried to give me any other excuses than the ones he’s already offered, and I am okay with that. I let him go and didn’t look back.

I’m trying to look forward.

I don’t go back to teaching. Fred was happy to get a place in New York and live there most of the time if I wanted to, but I found I didn’t. I liked the kids most of the time, but I never felt easy in that life. The city was too much of everything and probably part of the reason I felt so far from myself.

But I’ve been keeping busy.

“You all packed?” Fred asks me. I’m sitting on the floor in the conservatory off the kitchen, surrounded by suitcases and tennis gear. It’s sunny out, the first day of summer approaching fast. It’s light out now after dinner, and the grass is green and lush.

I glance up at him. He’s wearing slacks and a light blue button-down that’s my favorite color on him. He just got a haircut too, and he looks delicious. “Yes and no?”

“Which is it?”

---