Page 56 of The Summer Swap

True, they were hardly in a celebratory mood, but at least they were together.

On a date.

She was pleased now that she’d dressed up and taken time over her hair and makeup. She’d worn a new dress that she loved, and tried not to remember that she’d bought it for Jeff.

She wasn’t going to think about Jeff. She was with Theo.

The funeral had been stressful and sad, but Theo had held her hand tightly throughout and even though she hadn’t been able to stop wishing that he’d offered that level of support during her father’s funeral, she’d been glad to have it anyway. It had brought them closer.

She ignored the menu in front of her and glanced across the water, watching as the setting sun streaked the sky and the ocean.

There was something about being near the ocean that soothed her. She loved the smells, and the sounds. The clink of masts, the gentle lap of the water as it hit the dock.

She reached across the table and took his hand.

“This is perfect. Great choice.”

“Michael told me about it.”

“Oh.” She’d been trying hard not to think about Michael. Not because she didn’t care, but because she cared very much and was trying to keep her emotions in check. It wasn’t a crime, surely, to try and pull a little joy from dark days?

Theo put down the menu he’d been holding. “I feel guilty being here, enjoying myself.”

Were they enjoying themselves? That was an overly optimistic assessment of the evening in her opinion. They were going through the motions, but that was what you did until finally, one day, you found you really were enjoying yourselves.

“Michael would want us to be here. Michael would want us to be making the most of our lives.”

“That’s true. You’re right.” He stared down at their interlocked fingers. “I know you’re right. I feel—strange, Krissy.”

He’d called her Krissy when they were first dating, and whenever they made love.

And now he was calling her Krissy again.

“In what way, strange?”

“As if this is some sort of bad dream. As if it can’t be real. I can’t believe I’m never going to see him again.”

She felt a pang of sympathy. “I understand. I felt the same way after my dad died. I still do.”

He lifted his gaze from their fingers to her face. “You do? I didn’t know that.”

You never asked. You didn’t listen when I tried to tell you.

She pushed those thoughts down. Later, maybe, they’d talk about it. But not now. She didn’t want to damage this new, fragile connection. “It isn’t easy to learn to live without someone you love.”

“I’m discovering that. I’ve been thinking of all the times I’ve had to deliver bad news to relatives, and wondering if I could have done better. Could have offered more support.”

You could have offered more support to me.

Kristen pulled her hand away.

“I think we should order and talk about something else. You’re making yourself feel worse.”

“You’re right.” He gave a brief smile. “You’re an incredible woman. You hold everything together, no matter how tough life gets. You were a rock during the funeral. I don’t know how I would have made it through without you. I’m lucky to have you. We’re lucky to have each other.”

She used to feel that way, but lately she hadn’t been so sure.

All she knew was that she was glad to be here now, with him, with no risk of him rushing off.

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