Page 50 of The Summer Swap

She’d been lost in her own thoughts, some of them about the earlier conversation with Cecilia about her paintings, and some of them about Todd. And now she saw that he was holding a mug out toward her.

“Thanks.” She took the mug but didn’t sit, instead staring out across the ocean, watching as the sun dipped toward the sea. It was the best time of day, in her opinion. Normally it soothed her, but not tonight. Tonight, nothing could calm the flutter in her stomach and the crazy dance of her heart. Even though she knew it was hopeless, that nothing would ever come of it, she couldn’t seem to help feeling the way she felt whenever she was around him.

Fortunately, his attention was on his grandmother.

“How often did you come here, Nanna?”

“I haven’t been here for many years. I thought your grandfather had sold it. He was supposed to have sold it.”

“That would have been a crime. Do you have any idea what you have here?”

Lily turned her head and saw sadness in Cecilia’s face.

Todd saw the place as Lily did, in terms of position and potential. Cecilia saw only the past. Memories. It seemed to Lily that the place was furnished with them, and she’d been trying hard to make some changes in the hope that it might alter the way Cecilia felt. But she knew her contribution was probably too small to count.

And Todd’s arrival had reminded her that although she and Cecilia had created their own little world in this cottage, the real world was still out there. It hadn’t gone away.

“I know what I have,” Cecilia said. “That’s why Cameron and I bought it in the first place. And I will be selling it.”

Todd put his mug down and leaned forward. “Why would you sell somewhere so perfect?”

Because it hurts her to be here, Lily thought. But he couldn’t know that.

She was the only one who had witnessed Cecilia’s distress on the night she’d arrived at the cottage, and sometimes family were the last people you could be honest with.

Her own experience had taught her that.

Cecilia paused and for a moment Lily thought she might be about to tell Todd the truth, but then she shrugged.

“I’m selling it because I have no use for the place.”

“Sell it to me,” Todd said instantly. “I’m serious. I’ve been looking for somewhere. This fits my criteria.”

Lily was hit by a sudden wave of nausea. If Cecilia sold it to Todd—and why wouldn’t she?—then Amelie would live here. Amelie would wake up in the mornings and be greeted by that glorious view. Amelie would wake up and be greeted by Todd. They’d sit on the porch together. They’d walk on the beach together. They’d make their own footprints and gradually erase the prints of all the people who had come before. Including Lily’s.

Suddenly the cottage, the one perfect thing in her life, seemed tainted. Amelie might as well have thrown paint over it.

She stood up so suddenly the coffee slopped out of her mug and onto the table. “Sorry. I’ll get a cloth.”

“Lily?” Cecilia half rose. “Are you all right, honey?”

“I’m fine. It’s been a long day, that’s all.” And seeing Todd was a special kind of torture. It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d see him here, of all places.

But it had woken her up to reality.

Yes, she loved this place, but she wasn’t making a new life here. She was hiding from her old life. She was avoiding making decisions. If she wanted her parents to treat her like an adult, then she needed to prove that she was one.

The fleeting rush of elation that she’d felt when Cecilia had admired her paintings had vanished, replaced by the usual heavyweight doubt. The uncertainty. And the guilt. Always the guilt. She had no idea how to shake it off. It might have been easier to do so had there not been truth in her mother’s words.

She was right. It wasn’t realistic to believe she could support herself as an artist.

How many people who dreamed of being an “artist” ended up making money? You only had to look at the statistics to know it was a fantasy. Art would always be her hobby, but what she needed to do now was find a way to make enough money to live on. Something she wouldn’t dread doing. Something that didn’t make her wake every day with a knot in her stomach.

“You should go to bed.” Cecilia was still looking at her with concern. “You’re up so early every day.”

Todd vanished into the kitchen and returned with the cloth. “How did you come to be staying here, Lily?”

“She’s here because I invited her,” Cecilia said. “And where are you planning on staying tonight? You said you were doing a job out here.”

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