Page 60 of The Summer Swap

She put her fork down.

When you were young you thought life was something you could control, and it was only later that you discovered that life often had a plan of its own that didn’t coincide with yours, and that control was an illusion.

It made her wonder what nasty surprises life might have in store for her.

She stared at her plate. She didn’t have Theo’s talents for boning fish. Maybe she was about to choke on a fish bone and that would be it. She’d die right here, in front of a bunch of strangers who would no doubt film her demise and post it on the internet.

She picked up her plate and passed it across the table. “Could you bone mine?”

His eyebrows lifted. “Whenever I offer, you point out you’re an independent adult.”

“I am an independent adult, but I happen to be incompetent when it comes to boning fish. Part of being independent is knowing when to ask for help.”

To give him his due Theo didn’t question her. He simply pushed his own plate to one side and boned her fish.

One potential calamity averted, Kristen thought as she watched him extract a perfect skeleton, all bones intact. Nine million others to avoid.

“Had he moved back into the family home?”

“Last month, but they’d been seeing each other regularly before that. He used to spend every Sunday with them.”

Kristen thought back to the beginning, when Trisha had told her how hard those days were.

“What happened to change things?”

Theo shrugged. “Michael didn’t know, but thought it was probably that they were both making an effort because of the kids. They were polite. He told me that it was the best day of his week. He looked forward to it. Turned out, so did she. They realized that despite everything, they were still in love. Michael said he’d never stopped loving Trisha. What he’d done was stop paying attention. When things niggled, he didn’t do anything about it. They didn’t talk.”

She tried to imagine Theo having these conversations with Michael. Theo, who rarely talked about emotions. And she tried not to feel hurt that he’d been able to have these conversations with his friend, but not with her. She’d told herself that he just wasn’t the sort to open up emotionally to anyone, but now it seemed that wasn’t the case.

It felt personal.

With an effort, she buried that hurt along with the other hurts and focused on what he was telling her.

“You’re saying the affair helped their marriage.”

Theo pulled a face. “I don’t think he saw it that way. He saw it as a stupid choice on his part. A wild moment of desperation and stupidity. He’d been feeling lonely and unsettled. Instead of talking to Trisha, he talked to Candy. And that was that.”

Kristen’s mouth dried. She’d been feeling lonely and unsettled.

“So Trisha forgave him.”

“In the end. And I’m sure it was hard. The affair meant nothing to him, but it meant everything to her.” He looked at her. “What would you have done if you were Trisha?”

Her heart rate went from a steady rhythm to a sprint.

“I don’t know. Why are you asking? Are you having an affair?”

“Of course not. I just wondered what you would have done if you’d been Trisha.” He shook his head. “It seems like such a waste. Those years apart. Those years they could have spent together. And now they never will.”

What would she have done if she’d been Trisha?

She had no idea. And then she realized she wasn’t Trisha in this scenario, she was Michael.

She’d been contemplating doing all the things Michael had done.

She’d started down that road.

She’d been willing to risk her marriage because she’d been lonely, and desperately sad after her father died, and unable to find any comfort at home. Theo had been too busy to be there for her (although it seemed he’d been there for Michael, which stung).

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