Page 54 of The Summer Swap

“From parents, definitely. Friends, maybe. But in a marriage?” He shook his head. “If you can’t trust the person you’ve chosen to spend your life with, how is that ever going to work? If they have secrets, how would you really know a person. And isn’t really knowing someone the point of a relationship?”

“I don’t know. I don’t consider myself an expert on relationships.” She’d had two, both woefully thin and unimportant. There had been very ordinary sex and a depressing lack of depth and intimacy. She hadn’t cared enough to wonder why they hadn’t worked. The truth was she’d only ever loved one man, and he was sitting next to her.

“I’m not an expert, either.” He gave a faint smile. “Which is probably the reason I’m sitting here now without a fiancée.”

Was he hurting?

She didn’t want to think about Amelie, but she couldn’t bear to think of Todd hurting.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe. But not right now. Now I’m putting some space between myself and the rest of the world. And this is a good place to do that.” He leaned back on his elbows, his legs stretched out on the sand. “I can’t believe she owns this. Also, that she never told me. Think of all the vacations I could have taken. I love the water. Do you sail?”

She was still thinking about him running away. What exactly had happened with Amelie?

“Sail? I—no.”

“You haven’t lived. I’ll take you out. You’ll thank me. It’s the perfect escape.”

“You need to escape?”

He gazed out to sea. “Have you ever done something you knew was the wrong thing for you, but you did it anyway? Made a bad choice?”

She thought about medicine. “Yes.”

“Right.” He nodded. “That was me. I did something. Made a bad decision. But I fixed it. It would have been better not to have made it in the first place, but perfect would be boring and my friends would hate me. But I needed to get away. Needed time to think. How about you?” He turned to look at her and her heart gave a little bump.

“I’m definitely not perfect.”

He smiled. “I was asking if you’d fixed your bad choice?”

She’d fixed the bad choice, but she didn’t feel good about it. She suspected that wouldn’t happen until she had her parents’ approval, and for that to happen she had to do something to make them proud.

“It’s a work in progress.” She wondered what his bad choice was. Was he talking about Amelie?

He leaned forward and brushed sand from his feet. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”

“Me?” Suddenly she couldn’t breathe. “You were thinking about me?”

“Yes.” He watched as the waves flowed toward them and retreated. “When Hannah told me you’d left medicine. I almost called you.”

“Why?”

“She was shocked by your decision, but I wasn’t. You used to tell me how hard it was living up to your parents’ expectations. How much pressure you felt. I wanted to call and tell you that I know how it feels to take a different path from the one your parents want you to take. I’ve been there. What you did was brave.”

Brave? She felt like the least brave person on the planet.

She wondered if he knew that she and Hannah hadn’t been in contact for a while.

“They don’t understand why I’d walk away from such a secure path. It’s hard for them.”

“Harder for you to be on the wrong track. I never did understand why you chose medicine. Seemed to me it was like trying to put a sheep in an aquarium.” He ran his hand over his face. “Is that a terrible analogy? Blame lack of sleep. My brain isn’t working.”

“I’m not sure if it’s terrible.” She couldn’t help laughing. “Are you saying I’m a sheep? I need a haircut?”

“Nothing wrong with your hair. I was trying to put a more original take on fish out of water.” He grinned. “From now on I’ll leave fancy words to someone else and stick to what I’m good at. What I mean is, it seemed like a waste for you to be a doctor.”

“My parents think it was a waste for me to give it up.” She didn’t quite manage to keep the wistfulness out of her voice.

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