Page 42 of The Summer Swap

“I love you, Kristen.” He muttered the words into her hair, and she closed her eyes and wondered whether this terrible turn of events, this pointless waste of a precious life, might in the end result in something wonderful. If it brought her and Theo closer together, then something good would have come from it.

“I love you, too.”

And that was the problem of course. She did still love him, even though she didn’t always love the way her life was with him.

He stroked her hair. “I’m going to make the most of every moment we have together.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder and felt a flicker of hope.

She’d thought that they were stuck, that their situation would never change. That he would never change. She’d thought Theo was Theo. But holding him now, feeling him leaning on her, she wondered whether she might have been wrong about that.

10

Cecilia

Cecilia sat in the shade as Lily brought food out onto the porch. Inviting Lily to stay had proved to be one of her better ideas. Lily changed the way the cottage felt. It was as if her energy and presence had somehow swept the memories into a dark corner, helped by the discovery that Cameron hadn’t been using the place as a love nest.

They’d been here together for a little more than a week and every day Lily brought home something new for the cottage. On the first day it had been a pretty jug that she’d found in a thrift store. She filled it with fresh flowers from the market and placed it on the kitchen counter. The froth of white blooms in the cheerful blue jug brightened Cecilia’s day every time she walked past it. Since then, Lily had brought home a fresh set of cushions and a soft throw in a shade of sea green.

“You won’t let me pay rent, so this is my contribution,” she’d said when Cecilia had expressed concern. “I’m trying to cheer the place up. Make it somewhere you’re happy to be.”

Cecilia was touched by the sentiment, particularly as she knew how stretched Lily’s budget was.

“You’re extremely creative.”

“I love decorating,” Lily had said. “And money was always tight growing up, so I learned to do it on a shoestring. I made a patchwork quilt for my bed out of scraps of fabric that the school was throwing away.”

As well as her obvious talent for interior design, Lily was calm, kind and, it turned out, an excellent cook.

Tonight, she’d pan-fried salmon fillets and served them with a lemon and dill sauce and a simple salad of watercress. There was a basket of fresh bread and a dish of creamy butter sprinkled with sea salt.

“This food is too pretty to eat. It’s a work of art.” Cecilia decided it wouldn’t have been out of place in a top restaurant.

Lily flushed at the compliment. “It’s just salmon.”

“Maybe, but salmon never looked so good. You have a good eye.”

“For fish?”

Cecilia smiled. “For the way things look. Everything, from flowers to food. Is tonight the night you finally show me your paintings?”

“Definitely not. I’m enjoying our friendship and I don’t want to ruin it.”

Cecilia rarely ate bread, but the smell was too good to resist. She helped herself to a chunk and broke it in half. “Why would it ruin a friendship?”

“Because you will either lie and say you love my work, or you’ll say you hate it. Either way, it would make me feel awkward.”

“Perhaps I’ll say I love it because I do.”

“If you hadn’t spent your life with Cameron Lapthorne then maybe I’d have the courage to let you have a peep at one or two things I’ve been fiddling with, but it’s a bit like asking Mozart to listen to my piano composition. Tough audience. There’s more sauce if you’d like it.” Lily pushed the small jug toward Cecilia. “I paint for myself really. It gives me pleasure.”

Cecilia tasted the salmon. “It takes great courage to put creative work on public display. It feels very personal. This is delicious, by the way.”

“People judge. If they don’t think you’re good enough, then it’s crushing. I’m trying to protect myself. Probably cowardly, but also necessary.”

She’d had no one to encourage her, Cecilia thought. And confidence could be as fragile as spun sugar.

“Would it help if I told you that Cameron suffered from terrible imposter syndrome at times?” It was something she’d never revealed to anyone before, but it felt right to share it now. She sensed it might help Lily to hear it, and she felt Cameron would have approved. He’d always supported young artists.

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