Page 37 of Maddest Temptation

“Oh, okay.”

Marco stood up, and in this moment, he looked like the adult, and I looked like the child, waiting to be guided. Just like before, we didn’t kiss, neither did we hug. He simply started walking off.

“Will you come visit?” I asked. “Mother,” I added, I didn’t want to scare him off right now. If my father found out he was here with my mother, it wouldn’t be as bad as if he was seen with me.

He shrugged, “I’ll try.”

Sunday was the worst day yet. It finally struck me that my mother was truly sick and that she was hospitalized for real. Seeing and hearing those machines in her room had left me dizzy. I spent my day with her trying to make her as comfortable and as cozy as possible. I’d bought her my favorite flowers—purple tulips—and placed them all around the room. Mamma had always loved flowers, just like I did, and it was something we both had bonded over in my youth.

When Dr. Conrad finally sent me home after watching my mother like a hawk all day, I stopped at the flower shop near my house and bought a few more to decorate my place. When I finally reached my apartment, my head was aching, and my body was vibrating with anxiety—in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Withdrawal was the worst part because you craved drugs more than anything, more than life itself. As I entered my apartment, my hands were shaking, and my mouth was salivating. I dropped the flowers on the counter and raced to the bathroom to throw up except nothing came out.

I heaved and heaved bile until my stomach twisted in pain. I sat there resting against the wall, my palms damp and sweat racing down my back. I wanted to use, I was desperate for it, but my last stash had been taken by the police and my prescribed pills were ending. Paolo was the one who usually supplied me with both, so I had no idea how to go searching for drugs. I could hit a club, but I was too tired and too drained to do so. The last thing I wanted was to go out.

After washing my mouth and hands, I headed toward the kitchen to greet my puppy. Dogs were loyal. Dogs loved you. Dogs were always happy to see you no matter what. That’s why I would spend the rest of my life surrounded by dogs and not men. No matter how much I wanted a family, I would never allow myself to fall in love ever again.

Love only brought heartache and pain. The kind of sorrow that tore through the body and destroyed everything in its path. Leaving only blood and destruction in its wake. I was never going to go through that ever again. Love was a rock tied to your feet, that dragged you down, drowning you in the endless sea.

Arranging the flowers into a vase, I set them on the counter and observed my work, then my eyes landed on the pile of boxes I still hadn’t had the courage to open. I needed wine, a lot of it. Except when I opened the fridge, there was none left. Damn it.

With my lack of coke, the alcohol was going faster than expected. I will have to go to the supermarket sometime soon. I needed to do something, I couldn’t stay in here, even if I was tired. My head and my insides were just too alive, and my body would have to deal with it. In the weirdest turn of events, I changed into my gym clothes. Maybe taking Reginald for a walk would quiet my anxiety. Maybe I could find someone to sell me some blow.

Someone knocked at the door.

I frowned at the piece of wood. The knock sounded again, angrier this time. A thousand thoughts cursed through my mind. Tucking my shoulders and straightening my back, I reached for my door. I opened it while the person was about to knock a third time.

“Ugh. It’s you.” It was easy to mask my relief with annoyance.

“Trust me, it is not where I wanted to be either.” Cassio took a step as if he was about to come inside, but I blocked his path. He eyed me from head to toe taking in my outfit, my short shorts, and my cropped zip hoodie.

“Wait a minute, how did you get in here? Please tell me you didn’t kill someone. You didn’t kill someone, right?”

Cassio looked at me for a couple of seconds and didn’t answer. My heart began to beat faster. I always knew what he was, but sometimes I kept forgetting that the man before me was nothing but a cold-hearted killer and would’ve done anything to get what he wanted, no matter the consequences.

“Through the front door like most people do. Can I come in?” He stepped forward again, trying to push me back, but I stopped him.

“No.” Of course not! “Cassio, did you just kill someone?”

“Jesus, Francesca, chill out. I asked your neighbor to let me inside. Which reminds me, you live in a shitty neighborhood in a shitty apartment, what did you expect?” That my neighbor wouldn’t let a stranger into the building.

“Let me in.” He planted the palm of his hand on my door.

“Why would I do that?”

He sighed in frustration. And because he was so fucking polite, he shoved the door aside and stepped into my apartment as if he owned the place.

“Hey, I didn’t let you in,” I complained following Cassio inside.

“This place is a mess.”

“It’s called style, look it up.”

“Thanks, I’m good.”

“Have you come all the way here to criticize my apartment or do you actually have something to say worth hearing? Because, if not, I’m running late for Reginald’s appointment.” Which meant his daily walk that I was about to do before he arrived.

“Reginald?” he asked suspiciously.

“Yes, my baby.” I flashed him a grin. Cassio looked at me, as I smiled at him. His brows furrowed so intensely that his forehead wrinkled.

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