Page 19 of Maddest Temptation

He wasn’t wrong though, was he?

“I just wish you’d have told me.” I pointed out, unable to contain my saddened state.

“Tell me about him.” I decided I couldn’t judge my friend for keeping a secret when I was, too.

“He’s perfect, Frankie.” She beamed, and that’s when I knew my friend was a goner. Marie rarely involved herself with men.

Although we were part of the same world, hers was filled with all kinds of freedom mine did not possess. She could date whomever she wanted and not be branded a harlot for doing so. She could choose whom to marry and, if she wished, to divorce later. Marie had the choice to make choices.

Men were something else entirely, she had never involved herself with someone, at least not romantically. For her to be doing so now, meant she was really into this sexy guy she was telling me about.

“Does he have a name?”

“It’s a surprise. I want you to know him and draw your own conclusions.” She smiled brightly, as though she was thinking about him at that moment.

“You’ll come, right?”

I felt Antoine’s eyes on me like he knew something he shouldn’t. I knew eventually he would scold me for using again, and I was waiting for the moment the bomb dropped. “I’ll come,” I said eventually.

Marie sighed and then smiled. She stood to grab her notepad so we could begin the plans for the ‘small’ party she was having. When she left to grab more tea, I reached down to grab Reggie who was begging for some snuggle time. I sat him beside Antoine and me like a barrier.

Slowly my friend turned, his almond-brown eyes finding mine. “I haven’t told her yet.”

I sighed. “I will.”

“How did you leave the party?” he asked. “You should have called, I was worried.”

“I honestly forgot, Antoine.” I scratched Reggie’s ear to keep myself from looking at him.

I loved my friends, dearly. They stuck with me when I needed them the most. After Paolo’s death, all my so-called friends left me. Marie and Antoine had stayed and had followed me all the way to Chicago.

They had seen the true me, the woman behind the mask, the woman who wore one because she no longer knew who lived behind it. The siblings had seen me at my worst, and at my darkest moments.

They had never shown any signs of judgment but telling them I had been arrested for assaulting an officer and drug possession was too far, even for me. It was a new low on my ever-growing list.

Not to mention the one person I had been trying to avoid the entire week. He’d attached himself to my brain like tar. He wouldn’t leave me alone, and the worst part was that my brain seemed to want him there. It grew eager every time Cassio showed up. It reminded me of Reginald whenever I arrived home. It was pathetic. Certainly unacceptable.

“You look sour,” Antoine said calling me back to earth.

Cassio made me like that. All it took was to think about him and my stomach churned, but not always in a bad way. There were…fluttering. Butterflies that took flight when I thought about him. Butterflies I was going to kill with the strongest pesticide I could find. They had no business being there.

“I was just remembering something,” I said. “But don’t worry, everything is fine.” I took my tea and took a deep sip from the warm liquid. I could feel him narrowing his eyes in suspicion, but he didn’t say a word as Marie came back.

“So,” she looked at both of us. “Where do we start?”

Two hours later, we had everything planned for a not so small party. Marie had said only a few friends, but the list had gone up to a hundred people. Apparently, her new boyfriend was one popular hottie.

Seeing her happiness stirred something within me that had been dormant for a while, but it also brought with it another feeling I’d rather not experience. Not when it came to her. Jealousy was a horrible thing and was eating away at my insides and leaving me hollow. I didn’t want to be that way… to feel what I did. Marie deserved everything she wanted in life. This man she was dating, she deserved to be happy with him, to live out what she had always dreamed of.

She was seldom a romantic, pretending not to care about the men who fell at her feet. But I knew the truth, Marie was waiting for the one, the guy who would sweep her off her feet and carry her into a new life of wonders.

The jealousy I was experiencing had nothing to do with men. It was the purity of her happiness, how her smile reached her ears, her pale skin glowed and her brown eyes burned bright like two bowls of molten sugar. I couldn’t recall the last time I looked in the mirror and saw myself that way. At some point, that light that had burned bright at my core, had dimmed and had been put out. Was it during my marriage? Was it before? I couldn’t recall and that was what scared me the most.

Marie was talking to her brother, and I excused myself to use the bathroom, Reggie trailing behind me like the good boy he was. Once the door closed, I leaned against it taking deep breaths, trying to calm this wave of anxiety that had hit me out of nowhere, blindsiding me completely. These moments were growing more frequent as the days passed.

I had tried visiting a doctor once, one specifically chosen by Paolo. After all, he didn’t want his wife’s dirty laundry exposed for anyone to hear. The doctor had given me pills that numbed me, took my pain away, and left me in a haze. Back then, they had been my saving grace, everything I had asked for. It was better to live a life in oblivion and pretend everything was fine.

There was a knock on the door that startled me. “Frankie, you okay?” came Marie’s voice.

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