Page 15 of Trick of Light

“I find it difficult not to mettle in her business,” Rod said. “Not to tell her what I think about her romantic partners or career choices. Because I love her, I want the best for her. I don’t want her to make any of the same mistakes I did.”

“You sound like a good father,” Victor said.

Rod wanted to ask Victor what Victor could possibly know about being a good father. Hadn’t he abandoned his family? That was something Rod never would have done.

Not that there had been anyone around to care for Renee.

Sensing darkness between them, Rod eventually switched to other topics of conversation, drank the rest of his beer, and made an excuse to leave. He thanked him for the beer.

“We should do this again,” Victor said, shaking his hand a final time. “I’m always around the docks.”

“Sure,” Rod said, stepping out of the boat. “See you soon.”

But as Rod sauntered toward his sailboat, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d just encountered a ghost. More than that, he hated that he was now worried about Bethany. He’d always assumed she was happy as a clam down in Savannah, that she’d ultimately found joy and freedom in a place far from the prison of Nantucket. He hated to think he’d been wrong.

It wasn’t like Bethany wanted Rod to save her. But he still itched with that instinct. He couldn’t explain it.

Chapter Seven

2012

Nobody had ever warned Bethany that twins were a possibility. As far as she knew, they weren’t on her mother's or her father’s side, and the Waterstones had no mention of them in all their generations on this side of the Atlantic. Why, then, had Bethany given birth to Tommy and Maddie? People called it a blessing. They said, “Two were better than one.” Most of the time, Bethany agreed with them. Her heart burst with love for her two darling blessings. She spent every hour of every day worrying over them, nursing them, staying up late with them, and watching them sleep. But alongside that, she recognized the reality of having twins. It meant fewer hours devoted to her career. It meant a foggy brain. It meant twice the fear of illness and accidents.

The twins were three months old when Bethany returned to work. She was needed at the hospital, where she worked as a surgeon for children and adults. Very sick patients needed her expertise, her sure hand. But going back to work made her feel heavy with guilt and shame. And, of course, Amanda Waterstone didn’t help with that. She reminded Bethany at every family dinner that Bethany was “missing out on the precious years.” Bethany spent nearly every moment of her life brokenhearted as a result. If she quit working, she was doomed to regret that forever.

The staff at the hospital welcomed Bethany back with open arms. Both female and male nurses had private words with her, telling her she was “their favorite doctor” to work with and that many other surgeons were “impossible.” They had a little welcoming party with cupcakes, fruit, a big basket of baby supplies, and plenty of speeches regarding Bethany’s “wonderful commitment to the field.” Bethany was so overwhelmed that she sobbed in the bathroom afterward.

After her first day, Bethany returned home to find Nick and Amanda in the nursery. Amanda fed Maddie a bottle while Nick held Tommy over his shoulder. Their eyes were shadowed. Bethany had a strange suspicion that they were talking about her.

“There she is. Your mother,” Amanda said, speaking to little Maddie as she passed her over.

“How was it?” Nick asked her.

Bethany sat gingerly in the chair that Amanda had vacated. “It was incredible to be back.”

Amanda sniffed. “I had better get home to your father. He was in surgery today and will expect a steak dinner.”

“Thank you for coming today, Amanda,” Bethany said quietly. Their nanny had called in sick at the last minute, and Amanda had graciously stepped in. “I don’t know what we would have done.”

Amanda looked as though she wanted to say something, but she kept her mouth shut.

After she left, Nick and Bethany put their babies to bed and watched them sleep for a little while. They held hands and felt in a bubble of love.

Downstairs, Nick popped open a bottle of champagne, which they drank from after Bethany pumped. His eyes sparkled as he congratulated her on her return to the hospital.

“It was such a complicated day,” Bethany said after a moment. “But I know it’s the right thing. I want Maddie to see me like this. A working mother.”

Nick flinched. “You don’t have to insult my mother, you know.”

Bethany’s lips parted with surprise. “That’s not what I meant!”

It hadn’t occurred to her to insult Amanda. Not overtly.

Nick waved his hand. “I’m sorry. I know.” He sipped his champagne. “It’s been a difficult few days.”

Bethany rubbed his shoulder. “What’s up?”

Nick explained that he’d overheard a colleague complaining about him. Saying that Nick had only gotten the surgeon gig because of who his father is.

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